Stupid Questions With Answers
by xemjayx
Summary: What happens when people ask other people and vampires a stupid question? Read and find out! Rated T just in case. PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT WE MENTION ON HERE! Thanks :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: why do you even ask? you know the answer.**

_A/N My friend and I will have fun with this...bahahahahaha. So if we see eachother a lot, then there will be more updates but otherwise, it might be slow.._

**STUPID THINGS THAT PEOPLE / VAMPIRES DO.**

Q 1) Emmett, what do you do when you have a butt ache?

A- Oh that's easy! Stand up and smell a sharpie. At least that's what I do. I think Jasper scrathes his butt. Maybe...I shall ivestigate!!

_Later that day._

JPOV

What the heak? Why is Emmett circling around me staring at my butt?

EMPOV

Okay let's see. How do I get it to make sure that Jasper get's a butt ache. Hmm. Let's throw sweettarts at him! I mean they are sweet and tart so maybe his butt will pucker up. Then it would ache. Hahaha.

JPOV

"Emmett?"

"Yes??"

"Why are you throwing stuff at my butt?"

"To see if your cheeks will pucker up and then hurt."

"Ummm...weird much?"

"I heard it would work in a magazine!"

"Goodbye Emmett."

"Okay bye homey g dawg!"

Okay so apparrently only me, myself, and I, plus a few other of cool home slices, get butt aches. And like I said...  
SMELL A SHARPIE! It makes you cool, like a cucumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I HAVE OFFICIALLY TAKEN OVER THIS COMPUTER. BUT NOT TWILIGHT.**

_A/N Okay so my friend and I had tooooo much fun with that first chapter. So here's another stupid question and answer..._

Q) Bella--Okay so my friend put a whole bunch of sticky notes on me. What's the best way to peel them off??

A) Oh let's see... Well I get this really cool object thing called "scissors" then I cut up the sticky notes in a whole bunch of different pieces and throw it at Edward. In fact it's 5 o clock. It's time for sticky note mess!

_Two seconds later with a whole bunch of sticky notes..._

BPOV

"Oh Edward! Can you do something for me?"

"What is it..."

"Will you put these sticky notes all over me?? PLEASE!!"

"No Bella. Remember last time?"

_Flashback_

"Oh Edward! Can you do something for me?"

"What is it..."

"Will you put these sticky notes all over me?? PLEASE!!"

"No Bella. Remember last time?"

_Flashback 2_

"Oh Edward! Can you do something for me?"

"What is it..."

"Will you put these sticky notes all over me?? PLEASE!!"

"No Bella. Remember last time?"

"But, but, but...BUTT!"

"Bella, seriously. Do you not remember the last time?"

_Flashback 3_

"Edward! Put these sticky notes on me!"

"Okay then."

"YAY!"

_20 seconds later with a huge crash..._

CRASH!

"Bella? What did you do?"

"I threw the scissors at you and it bounced back and broke the lamp then it flew over towards the couch. Now there's a huge hole in the couch. So I tryed it again and that time it hit the fireplace and the fish fell."

"Umm Bella? You don't own a fish."

"AHHH! IT'S RAINING FISH!"

"Did you let Emmett give you that 'sugar' again?'

"Of course! It's delicious."

"Oh gosh what am I going to do with you?"

_Flashback ends._

"Oh ya."

"Do you see my point? We are not doing that again."

"Can we at least go fish shopping??"

"Okay but then you can't play with scissors anymore...or sticky notes."

"YOU SUCK LIKE A VACCUUM CLEANER! WE'RE OVER!"

"BELLA NO!!"

So that's how I get sticky notes off. But make sure you don't throw scissors at a vampire because that's how you end up making a big mess and ending a relationship with a vampire.

"Bella please come back!"

"Let me play with scissors again!"

"Umm that's a bad idea..."

"THEN NEVER!"

"NOOO!"

_I hope you like it...we sure had fun making this one... and reveiw! cuz cuz, you'll make my friend feel special..and me too! sooo...REVEIW!_


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER- BAHAHAHA I HAVE TAKEN TWILIGHT! NO WAIT...IT WAS A DREAM. DANG.**

_A/N Wow three chapters in 1 day?? We must really like you! And this is way to fun to right. So while writing chapter 2 we had an inspiration by my friends cat. So this is where this question comes from and umm...ya!_

Q) Jasper-- Why do cat's lick themselves? Doesn't the hair get stuck in their mouth? And is it any fun?

A) Umm well I think that's how they clean themselves. But I'm not for sure. And duh! That's why cat's have hairballs! Although I have never seen a cat have a hairball. Is that something mythical? Hmmm... And is it fun? I have no clue. I think I know who to ask though.

_Later that day..._

Where is he! UGH! When I actually want to talk to a dog I can't find him. But when I wish he would go away he's always there! Hey maybe... I wish Jacob would go away.

"You rang?"

"Whoa! It worked?"

"What did?"

"Oh nothing. Hey can you change into wolf form for me?"

"Ummm why?"

"Well I'm doing an experiment on cats. And so I need you to turn wolf so I can experiment on you!"

"Ummm bl- Jasper. I'm a wolf. Not a cat. Wouldn't that ruin the experiment?"

"Oh ya. Probably. Oh well it's worth a shot!"  
"Okay then...What do I have to do?"

"Well when your in wolf form, start licking yourself. Then when I say stop turn back to human so I can ask you questions."

"Wow that's not strange at all. But whatever I have nothing better to do."

BOOM

"Wow Jacob you make a loud noise when you switch. Okay well anyway, start licking!"

_2 hours later..._

"Aaaannndd STOP! Now switch back."

BOOM

"Seriously someone can go deaf from that noise."

"What!? What did you say?!"

"Never mind."

"Oh okay then. Ask away!"

"Is there any hair in your mouth?"

COUGH COUGH

"Eww ya and here's the proof."

"Is that a hairball?"

"Well duh, obviously."

"So they aren't mythical!"

"Umm ya."  
"Okay next question. Was licking yourself any fun?"

"Well at first it was like really awkward. But then it was very enjoyable."

"Cool. Now time for the yes and no questions. Just answer yes or no as fast as you can."  
"Okay. Go."  
"Do you love Bella."

"Yes"

"Do you love Bella."

"Yes"

"Do you love Bella."

"Yes"

"Do you love Bella."

"Yes"

"Do you love Bella."

"Yes."

"Are you gay."

"Like I've been saying yes!"

"Okay that's all I needed to know!"

"Wait no Jasper tha- Damn you bloodsucker."

So there you have it. Licking yourself is quite enjoyable and Jake's gay.

_Haha this one was a lot of fun to right. And Jake's gay! Who knew?? REVEIW!_


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN MY CAT. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.**

_A/N Oh wow. Already two reveiws and 34 hits? And this just got put up like what.. an hour ago? Thank you guys so much to who's reading this it really means a lot to us. And now for another inspiration that came to us before dinner. And the next chapter will be up very very soon._

Q) Edward, Why don't you just let Bella play with scissors? Ya they are dangerous but your a vampire and she wouldn't be able to do anything to you anyway so what's the point? She would probably go back to you.

A) AH! Why didn't I think of that? Your absolutely right! Man I feel like I'm an idiot! To the dollar store!

_50 pairs of scissors later..._

"BELLA! What's your favorite color!?"

"Umm gold, duh."

"Oh ya sorry I forgot."

_A pair of gold scissors and 49 scissors thrown at the wall later..._

"Bella! I'll let you play with scissors again! I even bought you a gold pair!"

"Why would you do that?"

"So you would forgive me and be my girlfriend again."

"Oh that makes since, but I don't need you or your scissors anymore."

"What?"

"Ya I bought a plant. His name is Fillaplant because he fills up space in my room. And he listens to everything I say and doesn't fall asleep when I'm telling them I love them unlike _someone_ I know."

"I'm a vampire. I can't fall asleep no matter what."

"Oh ya. That was Mike."

"You love Mike? What the heck? I thought you loved Fillaplant!"

"I do. It's just right after we broke up and befor I got Fillaplant I went to Mike to declare my love for him. But he was asleep so he didn't hear. Now he just stalks me."

"Girl you bounce back fast!"

"Ya I know. Now go away so I can declare my love for Fillaplant!"

"Oh okay."

_2 days later..._

"No wait! I could of had Bella! I need a different plan..."

"Edward why are you talking to yourself?"

"Because Alice, unlike you I have a conscience and so therfore I can talk to myself 'cause it will talk back."

"Your weird."

"WHY CAN'T I THINK OF ANYTHING?!"

So there you have it. Bella has fallen in love with a plant.

_Haha and so this is kind of "to be continued" type chapter...so that's why the next one will come so quickly. ENJOY AND REVEIW!! It would make our day._


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: EL RANDOMO IS A GATO. WAIT DID THAT MAKE SINCE?**

_A/N Okay so this is the "to be continued" part type thingy magiger... ya. Anywho this came to us while eating dinner. Wow we think of random stuff._

Q) Emmett-- Why don't you guys just call the love docter? I mean Bella is making Edward pretty depressed.

A) I don't know. I guess they're just stupid or something. Good question though. Hmmm I'm hungry for pigs in a blanky. They sound yummy.

"Esme can you make me a pig in a blanky?? PLEASE!!"

"Emmett for the millionth time your a vampire. You don't eat human food."

"NOO!!"

Q) Emmett-- Umm what is a pig in a blanky? And what's the number for the love docter? I'm pretty desperate to get Bel-- I mean my girlfriend back.

A) Well a pig in a blanky is a hotdog covered with bread. And they are D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!! And umm random person _cough Edward cough _you live with the love docter. In fact turn around and you'll see him.

EPOV

I live with him? Hmm I didn't know that Carlisle is the love docter. Or is it Carlisle? I turned around only to see Emmett staring at me with a huge grin.

"Emmett?? Your the love docter?"

"Of course dude who else would it be, Carlisle? Psh ya right."

"Oh okay then. How do I get Bella back?"

"Well...did you not see what I wanted earlier? PIGS IN THE BLANKY! Duh Edward! Every human I know loves them."

"Umm okay? I'll try it I guess."

_ring ring ring_

"Emmett what do I do?? It's Bella!"

"Answer it doofus."

"Oh right. Hello?"

"Edward! Fillaplant died!"

"How did he die?"

"Charlie says it's because I didn't water him. But I did when I got him! Then he died!"

"Bella when did you get him?"

"A year ago."

"Wait I thought you said it was when we broke up."

"Well...I had gotten it just in case."

"Oh well that makes since. How about this. I'll go get you a pig in a blanky."

"Oh would you!? That would make me feel so much better! I would even go back out with you!"

"I'm on it!"

_15 minutes later..._

"Knock knock."

"Edward is that you with my piggy?"

"Yes it is! Can I come in?"

"Yes I want my piggy!!"

"Okay I hope you like it."

"Ummm Edward? Where's my pig?"

"It's right here in my hand silly."

"Nuh uh! That's a hotdog wrapped in bread! I wanted a pig!"

"But but but..."  
"IT'S OVER AGAIN!!"

"NOOO!!"

So there you go. Obviously Bella doesn't love the most delicious thing ever and Edward was stupid for beleiving I was the love doctor.

_haha okay this one was deffinately fun to right. And will Edward and Bella ever get back together? Hmmm this is the question to ponder about at night..._


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER--TO GET GREAT LASHES, USE MAYBELINE NEW YORK! OH WAIT.. WRONG SUBJECT.**

_A/N Maybe it's Maybeline! Ha we thought that went along well with the Disclaimer. Okay so anywho today we have a special guest!! __yay claps woo! cheers! __ And so anywho ummm...ENJOY!_

_A/N 2 Okay so umm unlike yesterday were not sugar high so this might not be as funny...wait! We must get sugar!!_

_A/N 3 And were back! With yummy candy (that's sugary) and yummy __SPECIAL SECRET FORMULA SUGAR!! __ And that is a secret formula made by us! And don't ever try it you'll end up getting really really really sugar high...which isn't a pretty sight. But if your in need for being really hyper then you need it. And now this is a really long author's note with no story so up up and away we go!! _

Q) Carlisle--How come a circle is only 360 degrees round? Why not more??

A) Well it's obvious. That's as high as anyone could count! Duh.

"Carlisle your wrong! It's obvious that the person got to lazy to count it."

"Wait who are you? Your not in my family!!"

"Way to go Einstein! Of course I'm not in your family. My name is Rachel."

"Oh well nice to meet you Rachel. But you are wrong! They can't count farther than that."

"Oh okay I see how it is. Just because your a docter and you've been living for some hundred years you think you know everything?? Is that it? BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes you are and I can prove it!"

"Then prove it Rachel!"

"Well first of--"

"AHHH Carlisle!! Where is Edward?? I just saw him doing something really stupid that he's going to regret!!"

"Umm I don't know. What did you see Alice?"

"He was chasing a squirrell!! CHASING A DANG SQUIRRELL!!"

"Umm Alice? How is he going to regret chasing a squirrell?"

"The squirrell is going to climb a tree and, wait who are you?"

"Oh Alice it's okay. Her name is Rachel. She just pops out of nowhere to argue with people."

"Nuh uh! I was only arguing with you! And that's not why I'm here. I moved to Forks stupid."

"Oh ya?? Then prove it!!"

"Okay well first of--"

"STOP YOUR CHITCHATTING WE HAVE TO FIND EDWARD BEFORE HE FOLLOWS THAT SQUIRRELL UP THE TREE!!"

"Okay sorry Alice! Rachel do you want to come along?"

"Flipping heck I do!!"

"Okay then it's settled. Let's go find Edward!"

_27 different states later..._

"Umm Carlise? Alice? Why didn't we just check the Forks park? And why are we on a farm?"

"Oh it's because I like corn!"

"But your a vampire. You can't eat corn."

"Oh that's right! Wait what were we doing again?"

"We wer--"

"Hmm I don't know! Hey look a pig! Let's go buy it!"

"Great idea Carlisle!!"

"But you guys!! Ugh am I the only smart human around here?"

_Back at the Forks park where Edward is chasing a squirrell..._

"That's right. I'm going to get you squirrell!"

"Edward what are you doing?"

"Bella! I'm chasing this squirrell! Then when I get it you can have it as a pet! NO COME BACK HERE SQUIRRELL!!"

"Edward his name is Kool-Aid! Call him by his name or I'll dump you again!"

"Oh sorry. Come here Kool-Aid! Bella just wants you as a pet!" The squirrell climbs up a tree when suddenly...

"AHH! NO BAD KOOL-AID! STOP THROWING ACORNS AT ME! NOOO!!"

"Edward! Stop your screamig! You can't even feel it your a dang vampire!"

"BELLA SAVE ME FROM KOOL-AID!!"

"Fine... Kool-Aid! Stop it!" Kool-Aid stops throwing the acorns and runs away for ever.

"Bella thank you so much!"

"You know what Edward? I miss you.. Be my boyfriend again!"

"YAY!"

_Haha the end! Okay not really there will be more chapters. LOTS MORE! And thanks to Rachel for being our special guest! Woo! And also we are getting old. School starts tomorrow for us (YIKES!) And that means we are officially getting older and not as hyper as we used to be (NOOO!) Soooo If you have any ideas as of what we can write about we would love for you to tell us. Aaaannnnddd...that's all folks! Please reveiw it means the world to us!_


	7. PLEASE READ!

Okay so this is an authors note...but it is VERY important!

1) Thanks to everyone that has read and favorited and reveiwed. Means a lot to us.

2)PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING WE SAY! As we were re-reading the chapters I (MJ) noticed that we were putting some non-smart stuff in there. (Ex. chapter 1 with the smelling a sharpie thing.) So once again PLEASE! I repeat...PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING WE MENTIONED ON HERE!

Except we.cloned.edward.cullen... you are allowed to make our SUPER SECRET SUGAR FORMULA. Because we actually do that and it's very yummy. Anywho that's all we wanted to say so please enjoy and...reveiw! Well not for this, unless you really want to.

Love (in a non creepy way)

MJ and Aly


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER-- DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORER! (DORA!) WOO SHE ROCKS!**

_A/N Okay we don't really watch Dora, it just had to be the disclaimer though. xD Okay so anywho thanks for all the reveiws and this story has been read by a lot of people! Who would of known? Haha anywho here is another chapter! I hope you like it._

Q) Rosalie--My question for you is how do you put eyeliner on without poking your eye? Because I keep getting poked and it's not a fun feeling...

A) Well duh it's obvious. Well what you do is, well umm, I can't explain it so I'll have to see how I do it when I put some makeup on. Oh which I need to do know! It's almost been an hour since the last time! How could I have been so silly to forget?

_Later while in the bathroom..._

"Hmm that's weird."

"What is?"

"Oh hey Alice. I didn't see you there."

"I know. I'm just sneaky like that. Now what was weird?"

"Well I got asked how to put on eyeliner without poking your eye, but it seems that I poke my eye also. I just never felt it. Why do you think that is?"

"Hmm maybe because...I don't know either!"

"I know! Let's go ask Carlisle!"  
"Smart idea! I would of never thought of that!"

"CARLISLE!! GET YOUR VAMPIRE BUTT IN THIS BATHROOM RIGHT NOW!"

"What? What's wrong?"  
"We need to know why whenever Alice or I put on eyeliner why we can't feel it when it pokes our eye."

"Well it's quite simple. It's all because of when you cha-"

"Your boring so I'm going to ask someone else. Let's go Alice!"

"Okay right behind you!"

_One plane ride arriving in Italy later..._

"Rosalie? Why are we Italy?"

"Oh you silly goose it's because the Volturi know everything!"

"Oh duh! Why didn't I think of that?"

_In the Volturi cassle..._

"Hey Aro! It's Alice and Rosalie. We need to talk to you. It's very important."

"Good to see you girls! What's it you need?"

"Well..." I explained about the question all the way up until we got here.

"Hmm, well girls I think its' probably because your a vampire and you skin is so hard."

"So if you don't want to feel the poke you need to become a vampire??"

"Well...yes."

"Ahh thank you so much Aro! We must go back to Forks now."

"Okay bye girls!"

_Back in Forks..._

"Oh Bella!!"

"What do you want Alice."

"Rosalie and I want to give you a makeover! So come now, or else..."

"Okay I'm coming!"

"YAY!"

_Up in the bathroom..._

"OW! You guys keep poking my eye with the crayon!"

"Bella, it's not a crayon, it's eyeliner. GET IT RIGHT!"

"Jeesh sorry Rosalie."

"Oh don't pay attention to her. She doesn't know what it feels like. _She's_ a vampire."

"Am not!"

"Uh ya you are Rose. Sorry to break it to ya."

"Since when did this happen??"

"Umm like 100 years ago maybe?"

"Ahhh! I'm a vampire!"

"SHUT UP ROSE! YOU'VE KNOWN THIS!"

"Oh ya. Oops."

Today's lesson is...

Make sure your a vampire so you don't poke your eye out while putting eyeliner on.

_Haha wow this one probably isn't our best. But we still like it. Hope you enjoy! Please reveiw! It makes us smile. _


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER-- DARN I CAN'T THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY TO PUT UP HERE...THIS BLOWS! WHY DO I GOTTA BE ALL OLD LIKE?**

_A/N NOOOO! I'm getting old! WHY??_

**Warning. The subject and maybe some language used in this chapter may hurt some of your eyes, brain, ears, or toes. You have been warned...**

Q) Alice, How do people get boyfriends? 'Cause all my friends have one. Do I go online or something??

Oh, my, friggin, gosh. Are you serious? OF COURSE YOU BUY ONLINE! That's where I found Jasper. Uh huh ya true story. I remember it all like it was yesterday...

_Flashback 10 years ago..._

"OH MY GOSH! LIKE NO FRIGGIN WAY! AHHHHH!"

"Alice! Alice what's wrong sweetie?"

"Esme, I just found like the COOLEST website ever! !!"

"Buy a boyfriend dot come? What the heck are you on Alice?!"

"I'm on the internet! Duh! Seriously you can buy a boyfriend on here! OH I wonder if they cute vampires close to my age..."

"What are we going to do with you?"

_Looking through 159 vampires bachelors and finding a cute one for a cheap price later..._

"AHHH! NO WAY! NO HACKIN WAY! I FOUND MY SOULMATE! EEEEEP!"

"Alice?"

"What do you want Edward!?"

"Why are you screaming nonsense about soul mates?"

"Uh because I just found mine doofus! Look here! He's a vampire, he can control emotions, he's smart, and most of all he's sexy! Damn he's just gorgeous..."

"Okay then? But just so you know soulmates don't really exsist. This is just going to be a fling of somesort. Just like everything else in the world."

"Okay then tell me that again when you find your soulmate."

"Whatever."

"Wow! They even ship them really quickly! Let's see...buy."

_29.5481924 seconds later..._

_**DING DONG!**_

"AHHH! IT'S JASPER! IT'S JASPER! IT'JA-"

"Shut the hell up Alice!"

"Go away Emmett you would do the same if it were Rosalie!"

"Would not!"

"What did you say Emmett?"

"Oh Rose! I didn't mean it like that! What I meant to say wa- NO NOT THE HAMMER! DON'T THROW PLEASE! NOOOOO!"

"Okay then I'm going to answer the door then! Hi! You must be Jasper! I'm Alice and I bought you off the internet!"

"Wow, your cute."

"I know."

"I can't beleive I found my soulmate! And someone has hatred feelings towards that word..."

"WHOA! How did you know that Edward hated that word!?"

"Uhh...it's my superpower."

"Wait..." _**has vision**_ "I see something in our future."

"Hmm I like what your feeling."

"Let's go!"

_Flashback ends..._

Ah that was an awesome night. But that flashback reminds me...

"Oh Edward! Where are you?"

"In my room."

"Okay be there in a sec."

"What do you want Alice?"

"Remember when you said that soulmates don't exist?"

"Uh ya."

"Well look at you and Bella. Looks like you were wrong. Oooh burn! Would you like some ice for that?"

"Umm no."

"Okay then I'll talk to you later. I see something in my future and it has to do with Jasper."

"Ugh I see that. Please seriously I think I'm scarred for life now."

"Ya whatever I don't care 'cuz I gotta go see Jasper..."

"Uh...gross."

_HAHA I like this chapter! Who knew that you could buy boyfriends on the internet? That's so frigging awesome! Also Rachel is back! Isn't that just awesome? And also I was actually kinda hyper when I was writing the warning. XD REVEIW! Please?_


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER- UHHHHHHHHHHHH... NOPE NOTHING.**

_A/N Boo! I'm old! why why why?? That means I'm getting more mature! I want to be a kid again! WAAAAAA!!_

Q) Esme--So I got a butt ache the other day and so I tryed smelling a sharpie, like Emmett told me to do. _(A/N DON'T SMELL SHARPIES!) _But my butt ache didn't go away. I just got all loopy feeling and hyper-ish. So I tryed smelling the sharpie even more. But it made those feelings even worse. So I tried Jasper's way by scratching it. That also didn't work. I need to get rid of this butt ache! But that's not what I was going to ask. Why can't I drink windex? My mommy says it's dangerous but I don't think it is.

A) Wow I'll have to ground Emmett and Jasper for lying to you. I hope you get rid of the butt ache! And your mom is lying also! I drink windex all the time and I'm fine! I just get that loopy feeling but that's not to bad. In fact, I think I'll drink some right now!

_In the kitchen..._

"NOOO!! NO NO NO NO NO!! WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS THE WINDEX! NOOO!"

"Umm mom? Are you okay?"

"IT WAS YOU! I KNEW IT WAS YOU JASPER! YOU ALWAYS STEAL ALICE'S PURSES AND NOW YOUR STEALING MY WINDEX? HOW DARE YOU!"

"But I didn't steal your windex! And I do not steal Alice's purses...I borrow them."

"OH SO YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD "BORROW" MY WINDEX TOO? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! NOW GIVE IT BACK!!"

"Stop shouting! I did not steal or borrow your windex! Last I knew Alice wanted to clean the windows in her room. Maybe she took it."

"I WILL NOT STOP SHOUTING UNTIL I GET MY WINDEX BACK!"

_Up in Alice's room..._

"ALICE! DID YOU TAKE MY WINDEX?!"

"Uh ya but then Edward needed it so I gave it to him."

"I'M COMING FOR YOU WINDEX!"

_In Edward's room..._

"EDWARD WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR ROOM??"

"Try Bella's house mom!"

"OKAY I WILL!"

_In Bella's room..._

EPOV

"Oh Bella! I'm so glad that we're going out again."

"Oh I know me too! I don't think I could go another second without seeing you."

"Hmmm...that's weird."

"What is?"

"Esme is running over here thinking about windex. She thinks I have it."

"Oh, whatever. Kiss me!"

"Okay!"

ESMEPOV

I ran into Bella's room and Edward and her were making out.

"EDWARD! WHE-"

"Emmett has it."

"EMMETT! YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE!!"

"Okay Bella, where were we?"

"Uh I think we were right here." Eeew...now they ain't so much making out...more like..well not third base but not second...they are at short stop.

_In the garage back at the Cullen's..._

"EMMETT YOUR VAMPIRE BUTT IS MINE! FIRST YOU LIE TO CHILDREN AND NOW YOUR STEALING MY WINDEX? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU KID?!"

"But Edward gave it to me! I didn't know th-"

"YOUR GROUNDED!! NOW GIVE ME THE WINDEX!"

"WHY? This isn't fair! I didn't do anything wrong."

"Oh windex, now I can drink you, your deliciousness."

"Uh mom, I think you need to lay off the windex."

"GRRRRR! DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME THAT! YOUR GROUNDED AGAIN!"

"WHY ME?"

"Mmmm...yummy windex."

_Okay please do not drink windex. That would be bad. Esme is only aloud to because she is a vampire, as am I. HAHA. Anywho...REVEIW! Hehe I rhymed!_


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER--AH! THE LOW PRICES! THEY BURN!**

_A/N Okay so the disclaimer is an inside joke that none of you would ever understand because we.cloned.edward.cullen and I are just awesomely awesome vampires! Okay that probably didn't make since so up up and away I go to write this chapter!_

Q) Bella- I was doing a project earlier and I got a paper cut. It hurts. How do I get the band-aid to stay on?

A) Well first of all, you need to go to the docter's to make sure it's not infected. I go to Carlisle since he's close by. Then you have them put it on 'cause you have to use a special tool of somesort. I remember one time when I got a cut here...

_Flashback..._

_A/N Yes, I'm going back to Bella's birthday party. But it'll be different I swear..._

"Edward, please tell me you didn't buy me any gifts."

"Oh I didn't buy you anything. So you have nothing to worry about."

"Holy Shit! What did Alice do to this place?"

"Oh you know, just about everything." We walked through the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!"

"AHH! So many people yelling at once! Nooo!!"

"I thought I told you guys that Bella was afraid of a crowd of vampires yelling at the same time!"

"Sorry Edward. I forgot to tell them."

"Good going Alice, now she's in hysterics."

"Well kiss her! She'll snap out of it. I'm positive."

Edward came over to me and pressed his lips to mine. I fainted at his sweet touch.

EPOV

"Ah, Alice! I thought you said she would snap out of it!"

"Well look at her! She's not going crazy is she? No, so I was right."

"Alice I'm going to kill you!" I chased after her around the house.

BPOV

I fluttered my eyes open to see two blurs chasing each other around the house.

"What's going on?" One of the blurs stopped.

"Oh Bella your okay!" He picked me up and started spinning in circles.

"Yes. I want presents!"

"But I thought you didn't want any presents."

"I WANT PRESENTS!"

"Okay okay! Here." He handed me the first present. I ripped it open and it was an empty box.

"What the hell? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"No, Emmett installed it into your truck earlier, when you passed out. It's a stereo."

"Oh, okay. NEXT!" Edward handed me another present and I ripped it open, but I also cut my finger.

"Noo!" Edward pushed me back against the wall to keep Jasper away from me.

"Get him out of here! Carlisle, you need to fix her finger!"

"Edward it's just a little paper cut, nothing bad wi-"

"FIX HER FINGER DAMN IT!"

"Okay! Edward, take her to the kitchen." Edward picked me up and ran me to the kitchen.

"Okay Bella, this might sting a little bit." Carlisle poured some yellowish looking stuff that smelled like alcohol mixed with urine.

"Ugh it smells!"

"Yes I know, but it will help the cut." He looked around in his big doctor's bag for a little bit before pulling out a band-aid and this metal thing.

"What's the metal thing?"

"It's a special tool that you need to put a band-aid on properly."

"Oh."

"And there you go Bella. Your all fixed up."

"Thank you. Edward, I want presents!"

"Okay I'll take you back to the other room." He picked me up and ran me back. Then he handed me the almost opened gift.

"OOO it's a cd! Which band?"

"Not a band, it's me. It's all the music that I've written."

"Ahh thanks Edward!" I kissed him.

"I have another present for you. It's up in my room. Shall we go get it?"

"YAY PRESENTS!" He picked me up again and ran me to his room. There was a bed in the middle of it.

"You got me a bed? How friggin cool is that?!"

"I didn't get you the bed. That's part of the gift." Then he picked me up, took me to the bed, and kissed me. Then he gave me the rest of his present...

_Flashback ends..._

Ahh that was a good night. I had gotten so many presents.

"Bella! We need to go to Walmart! It's an emergency."

"Okay Edward. Coming!" I ran downstairs and he picked me up and ran all the way to Walmart.

"So what was the emergency?"

"Carlisle needs band-aids, Esme needs windex, and Emmett needs sharpies."

"And I need scissors?"

"Sure.."

"Woohoo!"

_Later while Bella and Edward are in the school supply section looking for sharpies..._

"Where are the sharpies? They can't be that hard to find can they?"

"Wait, Edward. I just noticed something..."

"What is it Bella?"

"Everything here is low priced..."

"Wait are you cerial?" He looked around and then started screaming.

"AH! THE LOW PRICES! THEY BURN" He ran down the aisle and then dodged the cans of soup but slipped on a puddle.

"BELLA! GO ON WITHOUT ME!"

"NEVER! I MUST SAVE YOU FIRST!" I slid on my stomach to try to catch him but then I completely missed and ran into a table holding fruit. I hit the table so hard that the fruit fell on me.

"NO! NOT THE FRUIT! WHY ME!?"

"Bella? Edward? Why are you screaming?"

"Rachel! Help us! Please?!"

"Ummm..." She slowly started walking away.

"NOO!"

_Back at Rachel's house..._

RACHELSPOV

"I'M, GONNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT! AND PARTY EVERYDAY! WOOO ROCK ON!"

"And she thought we were weird..."

_HAHAHAHHA! I love this chapter! Like...a lot. And now your probably wondering where all this randomness came from. Well it's easy. First you have someone start writing a funny story and mention hyper sugar, butt aches, sharpies, windex, and vampires. Then you have another person review about all of those things. Since both these people mentioned are vampires, we decide to go shopping at walmart to go get some windex and sharpies since we're fresh out. And I think you know the rest. Haha so anywho I dedicate this chapter to we.cloned.edward.cullen and forkz94. And sorry I wasn't trying to make you look weird Rachel. It's just I love that song so I thought you could be singing it. REVIEW!_


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER--SOMETHING OF SOMESORT LIVES WITH ME...SCARY.**

_And that scary thing is...Well I don't know. But I do know that this is another chapter!! Wooo! And up up and away I go! Oh and thanks to twilightistotalyawesome for the question. This will be a good chapter..._

Q) Edward- Has anyone every told you that you kinda sorda look like Robert Pattison? Just wondering, 'cause it's totally true. And he, is, HOT!

A) Wait, what? I look like someone? I thought I looked like Edward Cullen! Not this Robert Pattison guy. Who is he?

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO ROBERT PATTISON IS?!" Esme, Rosalie, Alice, Bella, _and_ Rachel yelled at the same time.

"Uh...No I don't."

"He's just the most dreamy," Esme started.

"Most awesome," Rosalie stated.

"The most sexy," Alice sighed.

"Most talented," Bella stated matter-o-factly

"And greatest actor," Rachel said

"ON THE EARTH!" They yelled at the same time.

"Well if he's so great then how come I've never heard of him."

"WHAT?!" Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper busted into my room.

"You have never heard of Rpattz??"

"Emmett your wrong, he changed it to Spunk Ransom." Rosalie said.

"Oh, well I didn't get that news, but seriously. You have never heard of him?"

"Like I've been saying, no."

"Okay that's it. We are taking him to meet you." They all dragged me to the jeep.

_In California somewhere..._

"OH OH OH LOOK! There he is!" I swear, my family and friends were star struck.

"ROB! WE LOVE YOU!" Some old guy turned around.

"You, you, you, love, me?" The old guy asked. Was this seriously him? He didn't look sexy...

"Eww! Not you, your just some old guy. Go away." Emmett started chasing him away.

"Let's rephrase," Bella started.

"ROBERT PATTISON! WE LOVE YOU!" Alice screamed. This stunning 21 years old guy turned around. He had long hair and he was pale-ish white. Hmmm...he doesn't really look like me.

"Hey there. You must be some more fans."

"Heck ya we are! And plus we wanted you to meet our brother."

"Eww..he's not my brother...I'm his friggin fian'ce. Get it right Alice."

"Sorry. But anywho, our brother - and her fian'ce - has never heard of you."

"WHAT? You have never heard of me?"

"Uh, no. Sorry."

"What, do you live in a hole or something?"

"How did you know!?"

"Uh dude, I'm Spunk Ransom. I know everything."

"Oh that totally makes since."

"Hey Spunk! I'm like...one of your biggest fans. Well all of us here are, besides Edward, but I'm deffinately one of them!!"

"I see that, what's everyone's names?"

"I'm Bella!"

"Emmett!"

"Rosalie."

"Carlisle."

"Esme!"

"Jasper."

"Alice!"

"Rachel!"

"Edward..."

"Cool. Well I'm Rob, Rob Pattison that is." He swung his hair around.

"OH MY GOSH! YOU WOULD HAVE MADE THE PERFECT JAMES BOND!" Alice was jumping up and down.

"Why thank you."

"You know what I don't get?" Everyone stared at me like I was crazy.

"Er, what?"

"The reason we're here right now is because someone one told me I looked like you."

"PSH! No, you can't look that sexy Edward."

"Bella how can you say that? I'm your fian'ce!"

"Well your sexy in your own way. But no one can live up to Mr. Spunk Ransom."

"Oh that makes since."

"Eh, well it was nice meeting all of you, but I got to go to set. I'm shooting a movie called 'Twilight'. I've read the books and it's really good. Hmm that's strange, all the main characters are your names. Well not you Rachel, but everyone else. Huh. Oh well. See ya guys!"

"BYE!"

"Hmmm...I see all of your points. He is dreamy."

"WE TOLD YOU!"

_Hahaha! This was a great question. Thanks again, twilightistotallyawesome for the question. And Rachel is here again! And she will be for most...okay almost all the chapters. Yay! Haha so I hoped you enjoyed it and...REVIEW!_


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER- NANANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAAAN!!**

_A/N Okay I promise this will be quick. NANANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAAN! Tehe. Oh and thanks to KimberlyYou'reWeird for the question. And then also thanks to Forkz94 for an idea. And last but not least thanks to we.cloned.edward.cullen, for the other idea! And this ended up being longer than expected. So, up up and away!! -makes swoosh noises with a cape-_

Q) Carlisle--So have you ever thought of making animal flavored bubble gum to help with Jasper's cravings?? Because if he chews that all day then wouldn't he like, stop thinking about human blood?

A) Oh goodness! Why didn't I think of that?! Ah man! Now I feel like an idiot.

"Carlisle sweetie, please stop having conversations in your head. It makes you look like an idiot." Esme said while passing by. Goodness! Did she have a secret power too? Hmm, why didn't she tell me? Seriously! Now I really feel like an idiot.

"Hey, daddio. Oh, don't tell me. You're having conversations in your head again? Psh that's sad. I'm the dumbest one in the family and I don't even do _that_." Emmett shook his head and walked away. Jeesh all of them knew!

"LIARS! YOU'RE ALL LIARS!"

"Uh, what are you talking about?" Jasper came in to join the conversation.

"Oh, you think it would be funny, since I didn't know. You are all liars! Everyone here can read minds! Why did you lie huh? HUH? Is Edward the only truthful one around here??"

"Uh actually I'm not. I'm the one who has visions."

"WHAT? AM I GOING INSANE?"

"Er, yes you are."

"Who invited you into this conversation Rachel? Are you a liar too? Can you read my mind??"

"Duh."

"Okay then what am I thinking?"

"That we all lied to you."

"Damn! How did you know?"

"Umm, I think you're missing the obvious here."

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!" I ran out of the room and drove off to my secret lab to invent the gum.

EPOV

"Hmm, maybe next time we shouldn't take it so far."

"Ya."

"Uh huh, oh well. Let's go shopping!!" Alice screeched.

"No," I said.

"Of course." Rosalie mumured.

"Yay!" Rachel squeled.

"HELL YES! LET'S GO NOW!" Emmett said running out to the jeep. Exactly **.**13526473894783 seconds later, I heard the engine roar.

"WOOOHOOO! SHOPPING SPREE!" Alice yelled, and then everyone followed her out to the car.

"Okay, I'll just stay here then." Hmmm, what should I do.

CPOV

"HAHAHAHA! THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME HERE! Okay, now to make the coolest gum for any vampire of this planet called EARTH!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH -cough cough- Ugh, choked on my spit. Anywho, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!! TO THE INVENTION OF GUM FOR VAMPIRES CAVE!!" I ran off making swoosh noises with a cape.

EmPOV

Hell ya I'm excited! We get to go shopping! And without Edward! He's always a party pooper on stuff like this. And, I actually have money to spend this time! Woo hoo!!

"Emmett? Where are we going shopping at?"

"BUILD-A-BEAR! Why do you want to know Rachel?" _(A/N I love build-a-bear!! Back to story)_

"Well, I just didn't know. And build-a-bear? What are you, a 5 year old?" Everyone stared at her like she was missing something.

"Oh, ya."

"Well, I'm going to build-a-bear. You all can go to American Eagle, or whatever you guys shop at."

"YAY! I can't wait! I heard Aeropostle got a new shipment in yesterday. And Abrecrombie always has the cutest shorts." Rachel seemed very excited.

"Ugh, you think we're going there Rachel? Nuh uh." Alice was giving her glares.

"Well I don't have thousands of dollars on me to buy fancy French clothes at the moment."

"Psh don't worry about it! We'll buy for you."

"Really?"

"Duh! That's why I said it."

"YAY! Oh happy days!!"

"Well here you guys go! I'll meet you hear later, but I must go build my teddy bear." As soon as they were off, I sped towards the other side of the building.

APOV

I watched Emmett speed away.

"Esme, doesn't he know that build-a-bear is like, right here?" I turned around to see a huge build-a-bear sign.

"Oh well, he'll find out soon enough. Let's go!" We ran off into the first store we found.

EmPOV

DAMMIT!! It's on the other side of the building!!

EPOV

Wow, there is really nothing to do here. Wait, Bella didn't go with them. In fact, she's not here at all. Huh, wonder where she is?

BPOV

"Okay Kool-Aid, you know what to do. Go to Edward's house again, and see what he's doing. But this time, don't get caught. Okay?" I looked at the squirrel, who nodded his head eagerly, then ran off.

"Now, Pringles? Go to Mikes, and make sure you find something very embarrassing so I can make fun of him. Then Pop-Tart, go to Jake's and taunt him as much as you can." The other two squirrels ran off, doing there duties. Haha, I just said duties.

EmPOV

No, way. No hackin' way. This place was AWESOME!! Oh my GOSH! They have a dino I can create! No, snap back into it. I am here for a teddy bear. One who will listen to me, and care about my feelings.

I went up to the lady - teddy bear in hand - ready to stuff it.

"Good morning sir. Have you been here before?"

"No."

"Well, first off, we stuff the bear, then you'll pick a heart for it and make a wish. Then you get to name it and pick clothes for it. Once your done, you'll get to take home your new friend."

"Awesome!! I love this place!!"

"I'm glad you do, is this enough stuffing?" She handed me the bear and I squeezed it.

"Uh huh! Perfect!"

"Okay, now pick a heart and rub it between your hands to warm it up. While your doing that, make a wish for your little buddy." I picked up the first little heart I saw and started rubbing it.

"I wish..." I thought of the wish.

"Okay, now what do I do?"

"Kiss it for good luck, then I'll place it in hear and sew him up." I kissed it then gave it to her.

"Whoa! Oh sorry, but usually these get warm. This is freezing cold." I bursted out laughing and she stared at me strangely.

"Er, okay then. Well, here's your pal. Do you know what your going to name him?"

"Proffeser Cuddle Muffin."

"Oh, er, interesting." Psh ya well forget you. I went to the naming computer and named him. Then I bought him and got the birth certificate. I pulled out Edward's new credit card. He got it in the mail yesterday and hadn't signed it yet, so I thought I'd steal it. And thanks to this, I have lots of money!! Huh, wonder what he's doing right now...NOT REALLY!! Hahahahaha I'm so funny.

APOV

"OH MY GOSH!! THIS IS HEAVEN ON EARTH!!"

"SO MANY CLOTHES! I've seriously haven't gone this crazy while shopping."

"Well welcome to the family Rachel. This is what we do about, every day."

"Oh wow! I'm gonna like this."

EPOV

Wow, seriously this is really boring. I would play the piano, but I do that every single day. Reading was also something I did way to much. Who knew boredom would come to a vampire? I could go hunting, but I did that yesterday. Why isn't Bella over here yet? I wonder if I should call her.

BPOV

Uh oh. Edward was calling. Did he find Kool-Aid?? Crap.

"It wasn't me!"

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

"Uh, nothing. What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something today?"

"Okay!"

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Well, that movie that Spunk Ransom was in came out yesterday, so we could go see that."

"Sounds good. What was it called again?"

"Twilight. I guess it was a book by Stephanie Meyer. And a really good one at that."

"Huh, I never heard of that book, and I've read every single book out there."

"Strange. Oh well, so see you at 7:00?"

"Yup."

"Okay love you!"

"Love you more."

"No I love you more."

"Nuh uh."

"Ya huh!"

CPOV

Yes!! I did it! I have made animal flavored gum! Now, to test it out...

EW! This is not animal blood! Yuck! Ugh, back to the drawing board.

EmPOV

It seems like I've spoiled Proffeser Cuddle Muffin more then Rose. Oh crap, I hope she doesn't get jealous! And I hope Edward doesn't mind that I spent all of his money. I mean, litterally all of it. His credit card has officially been denied. Oops. Well, that doesn't matter. I got enough sharpies for me and PCM. (That's short for Proffeser Cuddle Muffin, just so you know.) Well, I better go get the girls, and Jasper. Although, he could be considered a girl if you think about it.

APOV

"NO! Emmett's going to be hear in 3 seconds!" 3, 2, 1.

"Hey guys! Let's go home."

"But, but, but...YOU BUTT EMMETT! THIS IS MY FIRST REAL SHOPPING SPREE AND YOU HAVE TO CUT IT SHORT!"

"It's okay Rachel, I'll bring you back tomorrow."

"Okay then!"

CPOV

Okay this time I have it!! Now let's taste it...

DISGUSTING! This tastes like cow poop! Gross!!

BPOV

"Nuh uh."

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh."

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh."

"Ya huh!"

"Wait, it's getting close to 7:00. We'll finish this fight tomorrow."

"Okay. Will you come and pick me up?"

"Sure. Hey, perfect timing. Right when I'm going to leave everyone gets home."

"Nice. Well, see you in two seconds!"

"Okay bye!"

EmPOV

As soon as I shut the car off I ran to my room. I pulled PCM out off his house thing and set him on my bed. Then I grabbed 5 sharpies and started smelling them. Ah, home sweet home.

_YAY! I got another chapter up! Okay so like anywho, thanks to all the people I mentioned above for the idea's and such. Now time for some advertising. So there is this story that I'll be help writing for and I must say, it's gonna be good. Sorda based on this story so if you like this, then read it! It's called Ask A Vampire, and it's by we.cloned.edward.cullen.So, once we get another chapter up, it'll become an actual story. XD And last but not least...REVIEW!!_


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER--... WELL CRAP, I'M GETTING OLD.**

_Haha, so there's going to be a really random thing in here, and that's because I have really random friends!! Tehe XD_

Q) So, this is for everyone of the Cullens. Do you like to play with sock puppets?

Rose's Answer) No, what am I, a five year old?

Emmett's Answer) Hell ya!! They are almost as entertaining as a ball of yarn! Haha, I'm such a kid.

Alice's Answer) Ummm, it depends on my mood I guess.

Jasper's Answer) Duh! Of course!

Esme's Answer) Why would I do that?

Carlisle Answer) Ummm, I think the closest I have been to sock puppets is an actual puppet.

Edward's Answer) No. Not at all. Never in a million years.

"Edward I'm bored!! Come play sock puppets with me!"

"But Bella! I don't want to!"

"Do it or were over again!!"

"COMING!!"

"Hehe, yay!"

BPOV

-Evil laugh- I have Edward eating out of my hands. I can get him to do whatever I want! HAHAHA!!

EmPOV

"So Mr. PCM what do you want to do today?" I stared at him for a couple seconds.

"Ya that sounds like a good idea! Let's look for destop backgrounds!" I got onto google (AKA the best website ever!) and looked up random pictures. Surely I'll find something 'Emmett' searching that. OoOoO! That looks cool. I clicked on it to make it bigger. Wait, what was this? I looked at it closer. Oh no. HELP!!

Rachel'sPOV

I heard a girly scream. Huh, must be Emmett.

EPOV

What was that horribly high pitched noise? Oh wait, that's just Emmett. Must of saw something that scared him. Well I didn't have to worry about it. It was Alice's turn to take care of him. Hmmm random thought. Shouldn't I have gotten my new credit card a few days ago? Huh. Oh well I'll worry about it later.

"Alice!! it's your turn to take care of Emmett!"

"Nuh uh! I did that yesterday! According to the sheet it's your turn!"

"But I just took care of him yesterday!"

"Ya but he get's scared a lot! I thought you would of known that!"

"Well dammit."

EmPOV

"Make it go away, make it go away." I was rocking back and forth in the corner of my room, holding Mr. PCM very tightly.

"Emmett, what do you want to go away?"

"Evil stripes! They wanna eat me!"

"What the hell Emmett? Stripes can't eat you."

"THEY WANNA EAT ME DAMMIT MAKE THEM GO AWAY!"

"Okay okay! Where are these 'evil' stripes?" I pointed to the computer screen. Edward turned around and clicked the red X button at the top.

"Okay they're gone now. Are you feeling better?"

"NO! I need sharpies! Come on Mr. PCM let's go buy some!"

"But you don't have any money!" Edward called after me. What he didn't know was that I stole _all_ of his credit cards, and sharpies. But shh! Don't tell!

''EMMETT YOU DID WHAT?" Oh shit, he heard me. I need to learn to keep my thoughts more private.

''TO LATE FOR THAT!! COME HERE YOU LITTLE AS-''

"EDWARD DON'T YOU DARE CALL YOUR BROTHER THAT WORD!! IT IS VERY INAPROPRIATE WORD!"

"But mom!! He stole my credit cards!"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT HE STOLE! YOU ARE NOT USING ANY BAD WORDS IN MY HOUSE, DAMMIT, DO YOU HERE ME?"

"But you just sai-"

"DO YOU HERE ME??"

"Yes mom!"

EPOV

What the frick? Why was my mom yelling at me now for language use? I always talk like that. She hates me doesn't she!! Emmett is her favorite. Of course. Everyone hates me. Well except Bella. But still, every hates me. I think I'm going to go depressed. -Sigh-

_**DING DONG!!**_

"I'll get it."

"Hi! My name is MJ, and I'm a girl scout. Would you like to buy some cookies?"

"Oh, I would love to MJ, but you see... we kinda don't eat cookies here. I'm sorry."

"But, but, but...your not going to by from a sweet, cute little girl like me?"

"I wish I could, but we don't eat cookies. I'm very sorry MJ."

"If you don't buy cookies, your not aloud to call me MJ."

"Then what should I call you?"

"Molly."

"Okay then. Well, I'm sorry Molly, but like I said, we don't eat cookies."

"You don't get to call me Molly either."

"What do you want me to call you then??"

"Ranergeedork."

"What the hell? What kind of name is that?"

"Hey, don't hate on the name."

"Okay then?"

"You would understand if you knew my friends."

"Okay, well that makes since I guess."

"Well, are you going to buy some cookies or not?"

"Like I've been saying, we don't eat cookies!"

"What kind of people don't eat cookies!?"

"US!"

"EDWARD! DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT MJ! AND BUY FIVE OF EACH!!"

"Mom! We don't eat cookies!"

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING MONKEYS SHOE! AND BECAUSE YOU ARGUED WITH ME YOU ARE NOW BUYING SEVEN OF EACH!"

''Why do I have to buy?!"

''BECAUSE I SAID SO! NOW DO IT!"

"Okay Mo- I mean Renergeedork. I'll have seven boxes of each kind."

"Yay!! Thank you very much!" She gave me the cookies, and I paid her.

"Oh look! It's a shooting star! Make a wish." Renergeedork closed her eyes. She was being kind of jerk-ish to me. I wish she would turn into a rock. Haha, its a good thing these wishes don't work. I opened my eyes when I heard a little clatter. Wait, where did she go? I looked down to see a rock. Holy crap! She turned into a rock!

I picked her up.

"Haha! I'm now aloud to call you MJ!!" -Evil laugh!- Oh, you are now my pet. Haha, I have a pet rock. LOL!! Did I just think lol? What the heck? What's wrong with me??

_So I have decided, that if you really like my story, you will review and tell me. And if you really don't like my story, you will review and tell me. Or if you want to say something, you will review and tell me. Getting the picture?? -Hint hint REVIEW!- Tehe XD_


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER- I AM OLD, AND TIRED. BOOO HOO!! THIS IS AN OLD LADY WRITING A FUNNY STORY...CREEPY.**

**Okay, so I'm not really old, just high school. But close enough right? So umm the questions is from Arianna Cullen. So here I go!**

Q) Carlisle - The clock at my school is moving more slowly. Did Alice curse it or something?

Bella- Will you bite me when I'm 17? Please? I'll be your friend who doesn't make you go shopping!

Carlisle's Answer) Er, no. Not unless she decided to take up some voodoo classes or something.

Bella's Answer) Of course I would! But first, a certain someone needs to bite me. -Cough cough EDWARD cough cough-

"Bella, just because you say cough cough before and after my name doesn't mean I can't hear it."

"Yes it does!"

"Uh, no.

"YES IT DOES!"

"Okay then..."

"Mmmm! Mmm! Mmmm mmmm mmm MMMMMM!!" (Change me back to myself NOW!)

"Be quiet MJ, I'm not wishing you back to normal."

"Mmmm mmm!" (Jack but -but with the other word XD)

"Oh no, you did NOT just call me a jack but!"

"Mm m mmm mmm mmmmm mmmm!" (No I used the other word!)

"HUH! You used the other word? I thought you were supposed to be a nice girl scout!!"

"Hmm mmmm hmmm m mmm hmmm?" (Who ever said I was nice?)

"Good point, but I'm still not changing you back!"

"Mmmmmm" (A bad word that I'm not going to translate for you 'cause MJ -AKA me, the author- needs to learn how to not use language that is not bad. XD)

"You're mean!" Edward runs away sobbing.

"Hey look! It's a rock! Ah man, I wish it was real."

"Hmmmmm mmm mmmmm hmmmm! Hmmm mmmhmmm mm mmmm hmm m mmmmm hmmm!" (Emmett you stupid idiot! Your supposed to wait for a shooting star!)

"AHH! A talking rock!!" Emmett runs away to a weird alley where there are hobos.** (a/n haha hobos!)**

_**DING DONG!**_

"I'll get it!" Edward runs to get the door.

"Hi, my name is Meech. Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies from me?"

"NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!"

"Er..."

"EDWARD! BUY SOME MORE COOKIES BECAUSE I ATE ALL OF THE OTHER ONES!"

"But mom!! We do NOT eat cookies!"

"BUY SOME DAMMIT!"

"Okay! I'll have seven of each."

"Yay! By the way, did another girl scout come by here the other day?"

"Uh, ya...?"

"Well she's missing now. Her name was MJ and well, we kinda need her back."

"MMMMM!! MM HMMM HMMMMM! MMMM HMM!!" (Meech! I'm over here! Help me!)

"Oh, my friggin frish fries. Was that MJ I heard?"

"Nope! Uh, thanks for the cookies! Bye!"

"IT WAS HER! YOU STEALER!! YOU STOLE MY FRIEND! I'm coming MJ!" Meech runs over to the rock and does something then BAM! MJ is a girl again.

"YAY! I FOUND YOU!"

"Hey Meech, it's good to see you again, but I got some buisness to take care of..."

"HA! You can't catch me! I'm a vampire when you're just a little human girl."

"HA! That's where your wrong Edward Cullen, I am in fact a vampire myself! Meech help me!"

"Okay! You better run Edward..." Meech and MJ chased him around the house until Esme saw what they did to her living room.

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU DID NOT JUST RUIN MY LIVING ROOM!" Edward looked around.

"Ummm Esme? Nothing is wrong with this room."

"YES THERE IS! LOOK!" Esme points to the floor by her feet.

"A...piece of dirt?"

"YA! THIS FLOOR WAS SPOTLESS CLEAN!"

"I'm, sorry...?"

"YOU BETTER BE MISTER! AND YOU TOO YOUNG LADIES!"

''Sorry Esme, we'll never do it again."

"Ya, it's not our fault that Edward turned MJ into a pet rock."

"You did what? Your grounded mister!" Esme stomps off to the kitchen to get windex.

"Hey Emmett! Share your sharpies with us!"

"Okay! MJ! Come on Meech!"

"Woo hoo!" All three of them run off to get sharpies.

"Meech, your a tattle tail! Because of you I'm grounded."

"That's what you get for not turning me into a vampire Edward."

"Bella, for the millionth time,"

"I don't want to hear it! We are over ONCE again!"

"NOOOOO!" While Edward chases after Bella, Rachel comes in.

"Hey guys whats...NO! Is that a piece of dirt on Esme's floor?"

"Yes, and I'm so mad right now, I could just turn someone into a vampire!"

''Oh me! Turn me into a vampire!"

"Okay Rachel, go to the basement and I'll be down when I'm finished cleaning."

"YES! I get to be a vampire!"

EPOV

"Bella please!"

"Nope."

"Why not!?"

"Nope."

"Why did you just say nope? That doesn't make since."

"Nope.''

''Are you listening to me?"

''Nope."

"NOOO!"

**Haha, so that's the chapter! Now, I really need questions to be asked, cuz I am getting 'old' and it sucks. So send in a review with a question! Pretty please with windex and sharpies on top?**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER- I AIN'T FREAKIN' I AIN'T FAKING THIS! LOL GOOD SONG!**

**I'm SOOO! sorry that I haven't updated in a really long time! I feel bad, so this is a special chapter where I'll have more than one question in one!! WOOT! Thanks to Jewl in the night for the first question!!**

Q) Cullen Family...Plus Bella - Why are you guys so friggin crazy?? Love your new neighbor, Rachel.

A) Carlisle- We are not crazy! I take that offensive.

Esme- I don't know.

Jasper- Uh, 'cause we get bored easily...?

Alice- Because we wanna be!! So stop bugging about it!! -Runs away 'sobbing'-

Edward- We're crazy?? WHAT?

Bella- You really didn't have to put "Plus Bella" I'm already part of the family.

Rosalie- We are not crazy, we are just adults who like to have fun.

Emmett- Hell ya we're crazy!! But why? Because I like to PAAAARRRTTAAYY!! Woop woop! Raise the roof!

"Ya'll are weird. Esme when are you going to change me into a vampire?"

"OH! I forgot to do that didn't I? Let's go right now!" They go off into the basement where Esme loses her control and Rachel dies. HAHA just kidding.

**3 days later**

"Woop! I'm a vampire! YAY!" Rachel ran around at super sonic vampire speed, then ran into the wall.

"RACHEL!! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY WALL?" Esme was furious.

"HAHA!! I'm sorry Rachel, I had to laugh." MJ said, holding back giggles.

"Oh wow..." Meech said, while shaking her head.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Rachel you better save your ass!! Mom's gonna get you!" Emmett said, laughing, while rolling on the ground. Edward came into the room.

"Edward, stop crying over Bella!" Carlisle said.

"But I love her!!" He started 'sobbing'.

"Forget about her! Fall in love with me!" Everyone turned to stare at Meech.

"I just said that outloud didn't I."

"Uh, yes you did." Everyone murmered.

"Oh, well... Edward! Will you go out with me?"

"I would Meech, but I love Bella." He started 'crying' again.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN SWAN!"

"Bella? BELLA!"

"TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I WILL NEVER GO BACK OUT WITH YOU!"

"Okay then lets go! And, I don't know if you noticed, but you added your last name to my full name..."

"Oh, I know. It's because some day we are going to get married! So might as well get used to it!"

"MARRIED?" Everyone yelled at once. (Who buy the way, are all vampires.)

"AHH! YELLING VAMPIRES!! MAKE IT STOP!" Bella started rocking back and forth on the ground.

"Edward kiss her! She'll stop!" Alice said.

"Do you not remember what happened last time I did that?" She thought, then it clicked together.

**(If your confused, refer back to chapter 11)**

"Oh I'll deal with this." Meech went over and slapped Bella across the face.

"Thanks! I needed that!" Bella hugged Meech.

"Get off me man stealer!" She punched Bella in the shoulder.

"Meech! Do I need to take you to my consouling office?" MJ asked.

"No. You know I don't liked to be touched!"

"Anyway... Bella. You would be the one who's last name changes. You know that right?" Edward said, going back into the discussion.

"Oh, oops."

"Yeah...ANYWAYS! Let's go change you into a vampire!"

"WOO HOO!"

24678074307 hours later... (how many days is that?)

Q NUMERO 2) Jake- So like, this kid who rides my bus all the time, didn't ride home the other day. So me and this other kid were all like "I think he tripped, and missed the bus" and so on. So like, I was wondering, can bookbags fly?

A NUMERO 2) Uh, what did that story have to do with the bookbag flying? And why are you asking me? I don't know anything. You should ask the new and approved Bella.

Bella's answer- Well, yes. BUT you have to have an invisble cape, to make you invisble. THEN you run around, with the bookbag, and it FLYS! Hahahhahahahaha yes!

"Meech, it's okay. Just because you didn't get Edward, that doesn't mean the world is over."

"Yes it does MJ! I was born and turned into a vampire later on so that we could be soul mates! SHE interupted this process!"

"Yes, but think about it, I was born and turned into a vampire later on so the Emmett and I could be soul mates, but that didn't happen. And I'm not crying about it."

"Well of course not, you can't cry."

"I was meant for Jasper!" Rachel came into the door.

"Us three need to unite together so we can get our men!" Meech cried out.

"YA!" Rachel and MJ said at the same time.

**(Rachel, I hope you don't mind that you and Jasper were meant for eachother!)**

BPOV

"Kool-Aid, did you get the information that I needed?" The little squirrell nodded his head and gave Bella the camcorder.

"Mmm'kay. Uh huh, interesting...KOOL-AID YOUR A GENIOUS!" Bella bent down to hug the little squirrell.

"This is all the information I needed for Edward's surprise!"

EMPOV

"Mr. PCM, you need to get yourself a girl. TO BUILD-A-BEAR!"

RPOV

Why is my husband so childish?

APOV

-Vision- Ah! I need to get to Jasper!

"Jasper! I had a vision!"

"Way to go!" Jasper said, in a very sarcastic tone.

"But this was of Rachel, Meech, and MJ."

"Congrats...?"

"Seriously!! They are going to steal you guys from us girls!"

"Whatever..."

JPOV

Huh, I think Alice was being serious...

EPOV

Bella is my lady! Bella is my lady! I'm so happy! I'm so happy! But I still can't read her mind. Dammit.

CPOV

Oh, my, gosh-sicles. I finally got the formula for the gum!! Now to get Jasper to try it... Nah, I'll just get Emmett! He's not to bright... wait a minute. He sparkles in the sunlight though! So, he is bright. No! My head hurts! I'm thinking to much.

EsPOV

Oh windex! Oh windex! You are my love for life. But don't tell Carlisle.

RachelsPOV

HAHA! Jasper is mine.

MeechsPOV

I'm gonna get you Edward!

MjsPOV

Bring it on Rose, I'm going to win this fight over Emmett.

**THE END!...OF THIS CHAPTER!**

**WOW! Lots of random stuff going on there! And if you wanna know where the whole invisible bookbag, tripping and missing the bus thing came from, I'll tell you...but not right now. XD Just send me a review saying "TELL ME!" and I'll tell you! Ta ta for now!**


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER-- DUCT TAPE RULES!! BUT I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, OR THE CHARACTERS, BUT I DO HOWEVER, OWN MYSELF, MJ, AND MEECH. YA, I OWN MEECH TOO. OR DOES MEECH OWN MEECH? AHH!! MY BRAIN HURTS.**

**...Don't ask. I was drinking windex. (A.K.A powerade zero, my new addiction...) and thanks to Ailat for the question!**

Q) My questions are for all the Cullens (MJ, Meech, Rachel, and Bella included)

1) What was your favorite food/drink when you were human?

2)What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends?

A) Carlisle-Hmm, I would have to say that my favorite food would have to have been...tacos. And I like to work on the weekends.

Esme- Spaggetti. And I like to make scarfs on the weekends.

Jasper-Ummm...I think it was...dinner rolls. I don't know why, I just remember eating them all the time. And I like to go golfing on the weekends. It's so relaxing.

Alice- I don't remember being human, but if I had to guess I would say pizza. It seems to be appealing to all of our classmates. And I love to go SHOPPING!!

Edward-Lucky Charms cereal. Wanna know why? Because they're magically delicious! And I hang out with Bella on the weekends.

Bella- CHOCOLATE!! That was definitely my favorite food. Hmm, wait no. It would have to be pasta. Ya pasta. No, doritos. Oh those were good. No wait! It would have to be apples. No, bananas. No, hamburgers. No...

Emmett- STEAK!! Hell ya baby! Steak it is!! I play football on the weekends of course! Der.

Rosalie- Fillet Mignon. And I shop with Alice.

Meech- Well my favorite food is...MUFFINS! And on the weekends, I like to stalk Edward.

Rachel-Hmmm... french fries. And I like to watch One Tree Hill on the weekends. **(FOUND IT ON YOUR PROFILE!! HAHA NOT TRYING TO BE STALKERISH, BUT...YA ANYWHO ON WITH THE STORY!)**

MJ- I loved any Mexican food! (tacos, nachos, burritos, enchiladas, and so on...) And I like to play football and watch football on the weekends.

Bella-...no wait, it's hamburgers. No no, its...

"Bella! Just forget what your favorite food was, just tell us what you like to do on the weekends." Meech said, getting annoyed.

"Oh well thats hanging out with Edward! Or is it..." Everyone sighed and ignored her.

"Uh, Meech, Rachel? I need to talk to you guys..." MJ said, giving a signal to them.

"Okay then?" Rachel said, looking at MJ like she was crazy.

"..." Meech just followed them into a room.

"Uh, what was the whole hand thing?" Meech asked.

"It was a signal!"

"Well, you looked like a crazy person." Rachel said.

"Well sooorry! I just needed to tell you our plan is officially starting...NOW!"

"Okay, I called the duct tape place, and they should be here in like two seconds." Meech said.

-FIVE SECONDS LATER-

"Knock knock! Sorry we're late!" Rachel went to open the door.

"Hey, I'm Ani. That's pronounced ah-knee. And this is Britt." Ani said while handing us all of our duct tape.

"Hey Ani and Britt. I'm Rachel, and this is Meech, and MJ."

"How you doin'?" Meech asked.

"Ello poppet." MJ said. Britt and Ani looked at them weird, then ran off.

"You guys scared them away!"

"Not my fault." MJ shrugged it off.

"Ya, it's not our fault. They just thought we were crazy." Meech said.

"Which we are!" MJ added.

"Ugh, what am I going to do with you two?"

APOV

-VISION-

MJ, Meech, and Rachel had a whole bunch of duct tape, and they were going to steal Emmett, Edward, and...JASPER?! I ran up to where they were.

"You can not take Jasper." I said, then walked off.

MRMPOV (Meech's, Rachel's, and MJ's point of view.)

"Well, sorry Rachel! Looks like you can't join us in our secret mission." Meech said.

"Wait!! What if I kidnapped Jacob?"

"Who's Jacob?" Meech and MJ asked at the same time.

"A dude."

"Okay then!" MJ said.

EPOV

I was taking my 'nap', then next thing I knew I couldn't move.

"What the h-"

"Shh."

"Meech? What are you doing??"

"Kidnapping you."

"WHY?"

"Because, we were meant to be with each other! DUH! Why else?"

"Because maybe your a physco who likes to kidnap people?"

"That's a stupid! Who kidnaps people for no reason?"

"YOU DO!"

"Nuh uh!! I have a reason for this!"

"Then why?"

"I already told you! Pay attention!"

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

10 HOURS LATER...

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

RPOV

I looked at Jacob, who was covered in duct tape.

"Well, this was too easy."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Rachel, and we are soul mates!"

"Okay then."

"WOOO!"

EMPOV

"Take that evil zombies!!"

"Emmett?"

"Yes MJ?"

"I'm going to kidnap you."

"Okay! I'm getting sick of Rose anyway."

"Well, that was really easy!"

"Ooh! Is that duct tape??"

"Ya."

"Let's make a scarf out of it!!"

"Okay!!"

**Walla!! Isn't it amazing?? Haha, well anywho, in the next chapter there will be more on the new couples...XD**

"YES!"

"NO!''

"You know what Edward?"

"What..."

"I think we should stop talking, so we can tell the readers to review!"

"Okay, that makes since! On three."

"One,"

"Two,"

"THREE! REVIEW!!"


	18. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER-- "RAWR!" "AHHH!! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!"**

**Haha, ummm... HEY-LO!! Okay, onto the story!! Thanks to Arianna Mason for the question. **

bella: why don't you just marry edward? you'll get changed, have your human moment, get an awesome power, change me and get a new friend, AND if being married is to big of a step you can always get a divorce afterwards! cuz you know edward will be on his knees begging you to take him back.

A new friend! Awesome!! I want one of those! Huh, there was something else I was going to say... Got it! My favorite food was Chinese food. And I like to sleep! Wait, that was my favorite thing as a human. Now...I like to hunt! It's fuuun. Then to answer the first question...

Umm, I guess I haven't really thought about marriage, because I was just going to be with Edward forever either way...Hmm, I haven't seen him in a while, I better go see where he's at.

EPOV

"Meech!! Just go away! We were not meant to be with each other, and Bella is going to be here any minute so UNTIE ME ALREADY!"

"MAKE ME!! Oh ya, you can't. Wanna know why? Because your TIED UP! AND WITH DUCT TAPE!!"

"What is going on?"

"Bella!! Save me from Meech!"

"Why are you being so mean to her?"

"Ya! Why are you being so mean to me? All I want is a date or two."

"I can read your mind Meech, you want more than that."

"And your point?"

"Bella, will you please untie me so I can get away from her?"

"...No..."

"What? Why not!"

"Your being very mean, so you ow her 10 dates, whenever she wants it, and whatever she wants, you have to give it to her." Edward looked at Bella in shock, while Meech was smiling from ear to ear.

"You can't be serious!"

"I am."

"Yes!!"

"Noo!! Seriously, not 10 dates!! Anything, but that."

"Fine, you ow her 11."

"11?! Are you trying to make me go insane?"

"Why yes, yes I am."

"Bella! Seriuosly, love, why?"

"Just do it or else I wont untie you, and if you go on those 12 dates, then I'll marry you."

"12?? It was just 11 a minute ago!"

"And now it's 14 or no deal!"

"Fine! Just untie me." Bella went to untie him.

"Come on Meech, lets go."

"Well, I don't want my first date yet! Remember? 12 dates, whenever I want, and whatever I want."

"Grrrrr."

"Did you just grr at me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?!"

"Because!"

RachelsPOV

"So Jake, whatcha wanna do today?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to go to the beach?"

"I don't care."

"Do you want to see a movie?"

"I don't care."

"Seriously, tell me what you want to do!"

"I'm really tired, can I go to sleep?"

"Will you promise that we'll do something after your done sleeping?"

"..."

"Jake?"

-Snores-

"Ugh!"

MJ'sPOV

"Emmett! This scarf is totally wicked awesome!"

"I know! What should we do now?"

"Hmm, lets go and pretend to be hobo's!"

"That sounds like fun!! Let's go!"

Rachel'sPOV

-10 minutes later-

"It wasn't me I swear!"

"Jake, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, sorry. Just had a bad dream. Let's go to the movies!"

"Okay! What are we going to see?"

"Well, Bella suggested that one movie...ahh what was it?"

"Is it the one with Spunk Ransom in it?"

"Ya!! That's the one."

"So you want to see Twilight? I heard it was kinda romancey."

"I don't care, Bella just said it was a good movie."

"Okay then! Let's go!"

Meech'sPOV

"Just tell me why dammit!"

"Maybe I don't want to tell you."

"Don't make me tie you up again."

"You wouldn't be able to do that in a million years."

"Edward, I'd tell her why you growled, because I just had a vision of her tying you up and putting 14 slices of pizza in your mouth."

"Ya Edward! Listen to Alice."

"Fine! I growled because I felt like it. Happy?"

"Well why did you have to be all defensive about that?"

"Because I wanted to be."

"Well that's stupid."

"Your stupid!"

"What did you say?"

"Uh oh..."

MJ'sPOV

"HAHA! That was so much fun!"

"I know! Your much funner than Rose. All she likes to do is shop, and look at herself in the mirror."

"I doubt thats all she likes to do."

"...Nope! That's all she likes to do!"

"Nice! What should we do now? I mean, being a hobo was fun, but we can think of something better."

"Umm..."

"Hmm..."

"EMMETT!!"

"Uh oh, Edward is calling for me!"

"Don't worry, Meech just probably did something, like tied him up with duct tape and she's probably now trying to stuff 14 pieces of pizza in his mouth."

"No! What a waste of duct tape!"

"I know!"

"I got it! Lets pretend to be manicans in the windows of a store!"

"Brilliant!"

EPOV

"That teaches you to be mean to me."

"Hmmmm!! Mmm hmm mmmm!!"

"Shut up Edward!! Be ready in 20 minutes for our first date!"

**hahahaha!! Okay, So I really, really love this chapter. XD Haha, and that's all I have to say at the moment, so peace!**


	19. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER-- GRRRR FACE! STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS ALL...BUT CAN I OWN............CHEESE??**

**Haha, don't ask. Anywhozers, soo sorry I haven't updated in awhile!! You, are allowed to blame school. I now, give you permission to do so. Haha, well, so I'm going to start typing this so, you know, ya'll can read it! Thanks to my wonderful lover Ani for the question!! (No, we are not actual lovers....why would you even think that?) Lol, but anywhozers, up up and away I go!**

Q) Umm...why isn't cheese colorful?? Just wondering...because like, they say it's blue cheese, but it's not the color blue! Why do they lie to us?

A) Wait, who are you asking?? EMMETT IS CONFUSED!!

Ani- Umm, I guess I'm asking you Emmett....?

Emmett- Okay then!! Well, first off, you just got to know that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE!, lies in life. I have no clue why, but I know that I haven't lied once in my life!

Ani- But didn't you just say that everyone, and you mean EVERYONE!, lies in life??

Emmett- Yes I did, but I'm not everyone, and I mean EVERYONE!, I'm Emmett.

Ani- Oh, okay. That makes since! Continue then.

Emmett- Okay! Well, that's basically it! I mean, the people who made the cheese just wanted you to think that it was cool cheese that was blue. So, they are just mean people who like to lie to other people to make themselves feel like they are awesome.

Ani- Oh that makes so much sense!! Well, now I have another question....

Emmett- Go for it!

Ani- How did Edward survive his date with Meech? Oh, and did you and MJ have fun being manicans? What about Rachel and Jake??

Emmett- Uh, how about you just read on about what happened! So I don't have to read it to you!

Ani-Sounds great!!

EPOV

"MMMM!! HMMM MM HM MMM MMMHMMM!!"

"...Tisk tisk Edward. I gave you twenty minutes to get ready for our date, and your still tied up."

"MMMMM!!! HMMM MMMMHMMM MMM MMM HMMM HMM!"

"And, I thought you would be smart enough to spit the pizza out of your mouth."

-Spits pizza out-

"Meech, let me out go this instant!! Bella will never stand for this."

"Actually, I just told her what I did, and she thought it to be hilarious."

"UNTIE ME!"

"MAKE ME!"

RPOV

"Aww Jake! That was the greatest movie ever!"

"I know right?"

"Whoa, did you just say 'I know right? Because I only thought girls said that..."

"Of course only girls do! Let's go do something else now!"

"Okay! Let's see, we can listen to music!"

"Fun! Let's go!"

EMPOV

"Let's go MJ! We got to go be manicans!"

"Okay! Start driving!"

-2.38749 seconds later at the closest store in Forks...-

"Woohoo! We are here!"

"Let's do this."

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Yes kind lady, we are here to drop off some manicans."

"Oh okay! We were expecting you tomorrow!"

"Oh well, we always come a day early than planned...?"

"Well, that makes since. Because I mean, you would rather be early than late, right?"

"Er...right...?"

"Okay then! Well I'll go show you where the manican storage room is."

"Alrighty then!"

EPOV

"UNTIE ME!"

"MAKE ME!"

"JUST DO IT!"

"Do what?"

"Ahh!! I don't like your thoughts! GO AWAY!"

"MAKE ME!"

RPOV

"Jake, I don't really like this music..."

"You, don't like rock music?"

"Eh..."

"YOU! My friend, will become one of the GREATEST rock fans EVER!! Just like me."

"...I don't think you'll be able to sway me. Once I fall in love with something, it takes a lot, and I mean A LOT!, of persuasion."

-Five minutes later-

"OH MY GOODNESS! This is the most amazing music EVER!"

"AH HAH! I knew you would love it."

"Thank you Jake! I love it so much! ROCK ON!"

"I've trained you so well."

"Oh, please don't tell me your going to cry!"

"No, no. It's just allergies."

"Aww, come here. Who needs a hug?"

"...Me..."

EMPOV

"Kay, here's the plan."

"We stand there and pretend to be manicans?"

"Yup that's it!"

"Okay! Ready, break!"

-Holds very still for the longest time in a position that manicans would be in-

EPOV

"GO AWAY!"

"MAKE ME!"

"GO AWAY!"

"NEVER!"

"PLEASE?!?"

"...Nah, instead I'll untie you!"

"GO- wait, what?"

"I decided I'm going to untie you, and we will be going on our date!"

"NOOO!"

CPOV

"Esme, dear. Did you hear someone just yell no. It sounded like they were in pain..."

"It was just Edward dear, nothing to be worried about."

"Oh, okay then!"

RPOV (Rosalie's...not Rachels.)

"Oh, this is cute...EMMETT?"

"...."

"What are you doing here?!?"

"...."

"Oh, so your going to ignore me now?"

"...."

"Emmett!! Get your butt here this instant! We, are going home!!"

"Excuse me miss! But you really need to stop yelling at the manicans."

"That isn't a manican! That is my husband!"

"...No, that is a manican."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"Security! We got a loon over here!"

"I'm not a loon! Put me down! Emmett your in soo much trouble when you get home!"

"...."

Ani: HAHAHA!! Sounds like you guys had a whole bunch of fun!

Emmett: ...

Ani: Are you being a manican again?

Emmett: ...

**HAHA!! That's all I got to say. :) Anywhozers, sorry that it took so long to you know....update...I feel really bad about it. But!, you got this chapter!! Woot woot! Haha, sooo, I'll see you next chatper! (Well, not see, but talk, well type to...you know what I mean!!)**


	20. OMG ITS THE 20TH CHAPTER!

**Hey everyone!! So, like, I got really busy lately, so i asked someone to write this chapter for me, so ya'll coud get a quick update :) I hope ya'll like it, and thanks to Meech for typing it! And then thanks to Dubblez-L-6 for the question, and I'll use the other question you gave me for the next chapter :)**

**Also! I would like to say that...OMG IT'S THE 20TH CHAPTER! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!? Wow, things just fly on by don't they? Well, anywhozers, I have something special for yall!! Okay, so this story is at...what.. 87 reviews I think? Well, whoever is the 100 REVIEWER, gets mentioned in this story, as in like, introduced as a character. Plus!, I'll tell everyone to read their stories, AND I'll actually read your stories, and review EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER!!! How about that!! Haha, so go on and read! :)**

"So Bella, what do you think of the movie 10,000 B.C.?"

"Ummm, I like it? Though I don't get the concept, seeing that I haven't seen it, am I making any sense? Wait, why are you interviewing me Edward?"

"For one of the dates, Meech wanted us to be reporters...."

"Edward, don't answer her, your the reporter! Get the scoop or your fired!"

"You can't fire me Meech!"

"I can if I want. Now I wanna be ninjas!"

"But we were just reporters!"

"Bella said we could do anything Edward, so I say we're ninjas!"

"We want to play ninja with you two!"

"Come on then Rachel and Jake! Lets attack our two manicans with ninja stars! And get in your spandex ninja suit Edward!"

-2 minutes and 4 spandex ninja jumpsuits later-

"I still don't get why we're doing this..."

"Be quiet, we don't want to disturb the manicans. Watch the manicans. Smell the manicans. Taste the manicans. Touch the manicans. Listen to the manicans."

"..."

"Hmmm I wonder what they're up to."

"..."

"Attack on three, 1...2...2 ½....2 ¾....2 7/8.... 2 15/16....2 24/25.....2 98/99..."

"Just get to it already Meech, I want to get these dates over with!"

"Le gasp! You know you love me, you would never say that. THREE!"

"But seriou-"

"I said three didn't I? Attack!"

"Meech, they're like a giant trampoline, but they're rock hard."

"You're right Rachel, they sure are...."

"Ouch!"

"Are you alright Jake?"

"Yea, they're just so, rock hard and trampoline like. One of the ninja stars hit my eye!"

"I'm sorry Jake...."

"They're just too good at being manicans!"

"Seriously why am I even here?"

"Because it's part of our date Edward! Let's all be McDonalds workers now!"

"Would you like an apple pie with that?"

"No that's Burger King Rachel, they're just a disgrace to the name of Mickey D's."

"I like Burger King better though Meech..."

"Nobody cares! You're just a wolf Jake!"

"You hurt my feelings...."

"Get over it. We're working at the Golden Arch whether you want to or not."

"Meech, you're so persistant, I think I'm falling out of love with Bella and in love with you...."

"Told you I'd win you over Edward! To McDonalds!"

-insert super hero whooshing here-

"Well MJ, let's go be the signs at McDonalds that lead you to the play area now."

"Okay!"

-insert more super hero whooshing here-

**Tehe, so I hope ya'll liked it!! And I promise I'll right the next chapter, even though I think Meech did a good job. :) Anywhozers, that's all folks!! **


	21. Chapter 21

**DISCLAIMER-- OH SNAP! HE JUST SAW ME PICK A WEDGIE!**

**HAHA!! So, my friend is BACK!! Helping me with this chapter. Everyone say hi!! "hey there!" Okay, so, this chapter will have MANY questions. :) Hope you enjoy. Thanks to FlamingMusikStar89**

Emmett- Don't you get really hyper after you sniff sharpies? Cause I know I do!

Jasper- AWW! Nobody is asking you any questions! Who needs a hug??

Edward!!- SNAP OUT OF IT MAN! YOU LOVE BELLA! NOT MEECH!!

Rachel- How could you not've loved rock music? You NEED to listen to Tokio Hotel!

Bella!!!!- DON'T LET MEECH STEAL YOUR MAN AWAY!! FIGHT!

A1) No, the sharpies were just a cover up. I really sniff snoil Boy....does it make feel like I'm floating....

A2) THANK YOU!! Someone finally found me underneath all of the other people. Yes, I would love to have a hug. Thank you for asking.

A3) Wait, what? -shakes head- YOU'RE RIGHT! I don't love Meech, I love Bella!! I think she put some sort of spell on me...

A4) I don't know! But boy, do I love it now!!

A5) She's actually stealing him? WHAT? I'm coming for you Edward!

-rock music blaring in the background-

"Hey you! Hey you! Hey you with the armpit hair! Why are you wearing that shirt?!"

"One, who are you!? And second, what's wrong with it?"

"Well, first, my name isn't important, so call me Pepayinous Marioluis Layvenhook inshovsky. It's Russian. And second, IT HAS FLAMING HEADS ON IT MISTER!"

"Okay, well i am going to call you Pepay."

-intruprubtingly Pepayinous Marioluis Layvenhook inshovsky says thats fine.-

"Well, because it's the cover for a cd, for one of my favorite bands. By the way. How did you know I have armpit hair?"

"Because you look like a guy who's already gone through adolesence, and I heard your voice proving me right, therfore, I thought you would have hair in your armpits, and other places that don't need to be discussed."

"Okay, that scared me for a second, I thought maybe you had some sort of ex-ray vision and could see all parts of my body. That would be creepy."

-Pepay has a very distinct smile on her face-

-Jake runs.-

"Watch out for the window! i just sprayed it with Frebreeze. I know, for some reason that always gets the guys running with the smell of cinniman."

"Jake? Where did you go? I brought more music!!"

"Hello Rachel."

"Who are you?"

"I am Pepayinous marioluis Layvenhook inshovsky. It's Dutch."

"Okay then... where did Jake go?"

"I sprayed Frebreeze."

"Good for you....? But, where did Jake go? I know he's afraid of people with ex-ray vision."

-Pepay starts doing the Marcarana to distract Rachel from that last comment-

"What? What are you doing?

"It called the Marcarana!"

"Well good for you, you can move your arms, but where did Jake go?"

"I told him he had armpit hair so he might of ran to shave it."

"....JAKE!!"

-Rachel also runs off.-

" Have a nice day! hopefully your friend get rid of that hairy situation. Shavers are in aisle 14 if needed!"

EPOV

-DING DONG!-

"I'll get it! Jake?"

"Edward! Some weird Russian lady told me I needed to shave! And I can't find any shavers! Can I borrow yours?"

"One, ew, never in a cat's nine lives. And second, Russian lady? I'm reading Rachel's thoughts, and she said that she was Dutch."

"AHAH! That proves she's Russian! She lied!"

"Uhh, everyone lies dude, not just Russians."

"Oh, well I need a shaver, can you buy me one?"

"I guess."

-Runs to the supermarket to aisle 14-

"Hey there!"

"Your that Russian lady!"

"Si Senor! Me llamo Pepayinous Marioluis Layvenhook inshovsky the 8th. I can see where your friend got the confusion. I mean the cultures are similar."

"Oh sweetness!! I know! They are really similar. Hey! Hey! Your name is too long for me to say, so I'm going to call you the one with the face."

" As long as i can call you the one with the armpit hair that is pretty undecided like a pregnant lady!"

"Whoa!!!! Are you a physic?"

"Maybe..That question is just as dumb as calling someones house phone and asking if they are at home after they have already anwsered."

"Well, I was just going to ask you if you would like to be my friend. And, do me a favor. And it is like you know me, I do that all the time and people make fun of me all the time. Those butt munches. "

"Well, anything for you Madam one with the face!"

"Okay, well...."

EMPOV

"I NEED SNOIL!"

"Emmett, your so weird."

"So are you Jake! I mean armpit hair? Come on! The ladies like it shaved now a days. Or waxed, either one."

"Whats taking Edward so long! I wonder if that Pepay person stop him and is looking at him now?"

"Calm Down! the worst that could of happened is if he gets lost!"

"You would be surprised what that lady can do. I mean she tricked me."

"Well that isn't that hard I mean you are freaking out about armpit hair! Come on man grow up!"

"UGH! I wish he would hurry up!"

"Oh ya? I wish I had more snoil!!"

"I wish I had a unicorn!"

"Psh! I wish I had a mini skirt!"

"Emmett! If you dare go through my closet, or Alice's, I will hurt you!"

"Damn it Rose!! You are spoiling all of my fun!"

EPOV

"Is it a deal then?"

"Why yes! I'll be pleased to do this!"

"Sweetness! I'll call Meech then!"

-dials-

"Chello?"

"Hey there babe."

"Edward? Did you just call me babe?"

"Why yes did Meech, and you'll never guess what!"

"What?"

"I have a HUGE surprise for you! So come over at 9:17 tonight. Deal?"

"DEAL!"

-hangs up-

"Oh this'll be good."

"Yo know it dawg!"

"Fo shizzle home slice."

EMPOV

"Ugh! Why is my snoil taking so long to get here?"

"Emmett, what is snoil?"

"Well Jake"

-explains with great detail as in if he's a scientist.-

EPOV

"I'm here! Where's my surprise?"

"Well Meech, close your eyes, pucker up, and you'll see!"

-squeal from Meech. then she puckers with her eyes tight shut.-

"NOW!"

"Hey there Meech! Nice ugh, eyelids."

"Why, thank you."

"Anytime sweet thang!"

"Whoa there whoa. Are you a girl?"

"Got that right babycakes. And i can see you in my future."

"Well if i could see then maybe your in mine."

"I am also seeing Jake and Edward together."

"That's hott."

"Do you smell anything? Something cinniman like?"

"No." answered confusing like.

"Well, you about too!"

"Wait what?"

-right when she opened her mouth, the spray came out-

"What the. what?"

"Thats right yo! I so tricked you! Its a skunk not cinniman! I found it in the woods."

-Runs off into the woods-

"If your trying to get away from the smell you might want to get out of the woods!"

-They see her turn around to run into Kansas to hid in one of those fancy underground homes that is kinda cave like and is still dumb for her to run into because there might be a skunk. **;-) **-

EMPOV

-4 days later-

"Aaand that my friend, is snoil."

JPOV

"Man o man was that like nothing i have heard of."

EMPOV

"EMMET! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"You said nothing about Esme closet!"

-Runs around in a mini skirt to show Jake that wishes do come true. -

**LOL!!! Officially, the BEST chapter yet, I say :) So amazing. Haha, special thanks to my friend **_**Pepayinous Marioluis Layvenhook inshovsky.**_** Haha, tell me what you think of her! And, if she should be in another chapter. And continue helping me again. :) Questions would be appreciated!! Haha, thanks! **

**M.J. & P.E.P.A.Y. **


	22. Chapter 22

**DISCLAIMER! - - - SANTA LEAVE ME EMMETT UNDER MY TREE! YOU KNOW, SINCE I CAN'T HAVE THE TWILIGHT RIGHTS...**

**Haha, so uh HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! Hope ya'll enjoy your break that your either on, or that is coming up (mine's next week!) and on with the chapter! Thanks to FlamingMusikStar89 for the questions!! :)**

Bella-Let Kool-aid sniff a sharpie. Let's see if he goes all-karate-chop-squral on everyone.

Jasper-Aw! I would give you a huge but I'm in California. So..is it hard having a wife that can see the future. Cause what if you like wanted to get away with something, she would already know you are going to do it.

Emmett-Tell PCM that I said HI I I I I ! ! !

Alice-OMFG WE SHE TOTALLY GO SHOPPING! Except I'm not filthy stinkin' rich that can go to Paris everyday to go shopping:( What is your favorite store to shop at??

Edward- Watch out for kool-aid...He's a spy (Oh shnap! I hope Bella doesn't kill me, oh wait she can't casue i'm a vampire, what now! lol.)

Rosalie-What's it like having an idiot as a husband? (No, offence Emmett I'm an idiot to. GO TEAM IDIOT! ! ! ! )

Carlisle- Are you bi?

Esme- OMFG YOU ARE SO RIGHT WINDEX IS AWSOME! ! ! !

Bella's answer- Oh I tried that, it did NOT turn out well -shivers from flashback-

_flashback (BPOV)_

_"Kool-Aid! Sniff this sharpie! I want to see if you can go all kung-foo on someone!" Kool-Aid takes the sharpie, sniffs, and goes wild._

_"Oh no! He's gone rabid! RUN AWAY!" Edward ran around in circles, crashing everything he possibly could._

_"Someone went rabid? WHO?! Tell me I'll take 'em out!" Emmett yelled, and started jumping up and down pumping his fists in the air, like Rocky._

_"It's the squirell!" Edward was still running around._

_"WHO RUINED MY HOUSE!?!?" Esme yelled._

_"Ooo Eddie's in trouble!" Emmett and I said._

_".....SEE YA!" Edward ran off, and we didn't see him for months._

_end flashback_

Ugh, that was scary. The wrath Esme put on us. -shivers from bad memories.-

Jasper's Answer- I like hugs! California isn't that far from Forks! I'll run over there! Oh wait, Alice... well, she doesn't give me hugs anymore, so I shall run...NOW! -runs to California-

Emmett- Okay I will! Now, to go get him out of his home in his closet.

-runs to closet-

"Mr. PCM! How ya been buddy?" Mr. PCM stares at Emmett.

"Well, that's good! So someone says hi! She's pretty cool, I mean, she asks everyone questions! How awesome is that?" Mr. PCM continues to stare at Emmett.

"Well, I'll see you soon little guy!" Emmett runs off, to bug Edward.

Alice's Answer- OH MY GOSH! A SHOPPING BUDDY! Don't worry about the money, I'll buy for you! To Paris we shall go sometime! After Jasper comes back with you from your guys' hug. He deserves one, I was getting worried about him you know, and well......

-5 hours, 27 minutes, 14 seconds, 123789.123 miliseconds later...-

and so like, that's why I'm glad you decided to give him a hug!

Edward's Answer- I knew it! Wait, Kool-Aid the squirrel? No, he's not a spy! He's a squirrel who stalks me! So does Pringles! They are stalker squirells, not spy's. You silly goose.

-In a far distance so Edward doesn't hear Bella....-

BAHAHA! He doesn't believe it! My squirrels have been doing so well.

Rosalie's Answer- It's horrifying! Especially, because of him, and this MJ person, I get kicked out of my favorite store in Forks! UGH!!

Carlisle's Answer- Am I bi? Well.... pleasedon'ttellanyone! Especially Esme! She doesn't know!

"Yes I do sweetie. It's okay." Oh, well she knows, but don't tell anyone else!

Esme's Answer- I know right? Windex is AMAZING stuff! Makes me want to make the world have peace. And looots of it.

EMPOV

"MJ! Where is Edward, Rachel, Jaked, and Meech?"

"I don't know Emmett! I know Edward is with Bella somewhere, Meech is in a cave in Kansas hiding from Pepay, and Rachel is with Jake helping him shave his armpit hair!"

"Hmm, well this calls for a WAR!"

"Why?"

"Because, they aren't here! So we have to go to war against him. PEPAY! Your on our side!"

Pepay walks into the room. "Mkay, whatever you say."

"Woo! To the basement! We gotta plan this out."

-All three of them run to the basement to plan.-

"Wait! We want to come too!"

-Jasper and Alice follow, and now Team Emmett consists of FIVE people.-

EPOV

"Bella, I'm reading Emmett's mind, and he has just started a war against us, Rachel and Jake, and Meech."

"Then we shall fight back! RACHEL! JAKE!"

-Rachel and Jake run into Bella's house-

"What's the emergency?" Jake said, all tensed.

"Yeah! Because of you, I had to stop listening to a really good song!"

"Emmett has started a war against us! And they have skill on there side. They got Jasper and Alice, plus Pepay, she knows how to get to us. Then Emmett and MJ, they know how to act like different people."

"Wait, it's five against four! That's not fair!" Bella said.

"I know Bella, but that's okay, because I don't really want Meech to come back for this."

"Yeah, but with her, she knows how to be a ninja spy, or a reporter! We might need her."

"Fine. You have a point Jake. Okay, let's go team!"

"WAIT!"

"What now Rachel?"

"We need a really cool name!"

"Oh good point! How about... Team Invincible!"

"No Bella, that's just idiotic. What about Team Blanket?"

"TEAM BLANKET!" Everyone screamed. Then they ran to Kansas to go and try to find which cave Meech is in.

APOV

-Has vision-

"Oh no! Team Blanket has gone to Kansas to find Meech!"

"Team Blanket? We need to have a cooler name! They are already winning!"

"Good point Emmett! Now, what should our name be?"

"I don't know MJ, how about, Team Emotions?"

"No Jasper! That ain't cool enough! OH I KNOW! Team Mr. PCM!"

"That's a great name Emmett!"

"Why thank you Alice."

"What's with all the shouting down there?"

"Non of your business Rose!"

"Emmett tell me or no more mini skirts for you!"

"Fine! We have started a war!"

"Oh really? Can I be on your side?"

"NO!"

"Emmett! If she's on our side, we have a better chance of winning! I can see that."

"Fine Alice. Okay Rose, you can be with us!"

"Woo!!"

And then Team Mr. PCM started planning against Team Blanket.

Meech'sPOV

"There are no skunks here. There are no skunks here."

-A skunk walks into the cave-

"AHH! RUN AWAY! To Florida!"

BPOV

"Yay! We are in Kansas! Finally, now to find Meech."

-Commercial pops on in a near by house.-

Will Team Blanket find Meech? Who knows! Will Team Mr. PCM defeat Team Blanket? Stay tuned to find out!

-T.V turns off.-

**BAHAHA!! A war has begun! Who will win? How long will it last? I HAVE NO CLUE! But we shall find out, and soon! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**DISCLAIMER- THEN I'M THROWING DICE IN THE ALLEY, AND OFFICER LEROY COMES UP AND HE'S LIKE "HEY I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU-" AND I'M LIKE "YEAH WHATEVER!"**

**Haha, sorry. That was very random, but it's a good song, so WHATEVER! Lol. Anywho, thanks once again to FlamingMusikStar89 for the question! Your rock! Onto the chapter! -Swoooosh-**

Bella-Oh! Doesn't sound to good. Maybe I shouldn't have let that squiral in that park sniff my sharpie. . .this could be a problem. Any ideas of how to blame this on anyone but me?

Jasper- Aw! Thanks for the hug buddy! I hoped you enjoyed it!

Emmett-I know I'm cool! You are pretty cool yourself!

Alice-Yay! WE shall go to Paris as soon as Jasper gets back!

Edward-That's what you think. . .

Carlisle- Don't worry Carly! My lips are sealed!  
-Later that day-  
Hey, Jessica did you know Carlisle Cullen is bi??

Esme-Yeah Lysol lemon floor wax isn't so bad either.

Bella's Answer- Uh yeah! Okay, so here's what you do. Find some poor innocent stranger sittting, or standing, close by. (Preferably, and old man) Then take that person near the squirrel, and yell "Oh my gosh! Why did you let that innocent squirrel sniff a sharpie!" Then run off. It works everytime! Trust me. :)

Jasper's Answer- I did! In fact, it made me very prepared for the war! When Emmett realized that, he decided to have a "Let's give Jasper a hug!" break every twenty minutes. I feel very loved.

Emmett's Answer- Uh yeah your cool! And duh I'm cool! I mean, you noticed that Mr. PCM was locked up in the closet alone, AND you noticed that Jasper likes hugs! I mean, we would of never guessed that!

Alice's Answer- Okay! Well Jasper arrived back yesterday, but I don't know if we can go shopping yet, since Emmett started this war! I mean, he says I have to be here just so our team knows when something is going to happen. But soon! I promise! And I never back down on my promises.

Edward's Answer- That's what I think? Is that supposed to be a threat? Or is Kool-Aid really a spy? BELLA! We need to talk!

-At Bella's house...-

CRAP! I need to hide!

Carlisle's Answer- Okay thanks! Hey wait! You just told Jessica! Oh well, no one believe's her anyways. So it's all good.

Esme's Answer- Oh really? I'm going to need to try that sometime...

-Runs to the store-

EmPOV

"Okay Team Mr. PCM. We have official business to do. And that is to go get some donuts!"

"Okay!" Alice, Jasper, Pepay, MJ, and I all got up to go to the donut shop.

"WAIT!"

"What Rose?" We all yelled back annoyed.

"We can't eat donuts, we're vampires!"

"Thanks Captain Obvious!" MJ said.

"We weren't going to eat them we were going to use them against Team Blanket's advantage!" Alice said.

"Oh, how? And how was I supposed to know that?" Rose asked.

"You weren't supposed to know that." Jasper said.

"And Jake's a werewolf, and a hugry one at that. He'll see those donut's and go after them, and we'll capture him! So that way, if they do find Meech, they'll still only have four people, and we would be the greater team for capturing one of their stronger soldiers." Pepay said matter-o-factly.

"Oh, that's....smart." Rose said.

"Hell yeah it is! Now stay here baby and guard the fort, we'll be back in a jiffy!" I said, and we all ran out leaving a very confused Rose behind.

EPOV

"Damn! We've checked every cave there is in Kansas, and no sign of Meech!" Bella exclaimed.

"Wait! I smell her sent! She headed East-South to Florida! Let's go!" I said, and we all ran tracing the sent.

APOV

-Has Vision-

"Crap! We need to hurry! They've caught on that Meech went to Florida, we need as many donuts as we can get!"

"Aye aye captain!" Emmett said.

"I'm not the captain Emmett, you are."

"I know, I just felt like saying that."

-400 donut shops later...-

"Wow! We have millions of donuts! Do you think that'll be enough?" Pepay asked.

"Uh, probably not. We are cutting it close, but it'll have to do." MJ said.

Meech'sPOV

"Wow...the Tower of Terror! This will be a good hiding spot."

-Runs to the Tower of Terror-

EPOV

"Gah, can't this girl make up her mind? Or is she just challenged at finding her way." Jake said, very annoyed.

"She proabally just didn't know where she wanted to go." Bella said.

"Gah, it's going to take forever to find her! I mean, she's left a very strange trail!" Rachel shouted.

"That's okay though! Because then that just means we have more time to plan." I said.

"Yeah, but that also means that _they_ have more time to plan also!" Bella yelled.

"Gah! Good point. Well, for the mean time, let's just keep looking for Meech."

EmPOV

"Rose! We are back, and with the donuts!" I shouted as soon as I entered the fort.

"Where did she go?" MJ asked.

"Rose!? Rose!?!" We all yelled.

"Oh no! We have lost a soldier!" Jasper started freaking out.

"What the hell is all the commotion about? Can't a girl get her makeup and hair brush?" Rose asked, walking into the fort.

"ROSE! You survived!" Alice exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh... I'm with idiots." Rose rolled her eyes.

Charlie'sPOV

"Hmm, I wonder if there is any good games on."

-turns T.V. on and a commercial pops on-

_**Team Blanket is now on the hunt for Meech. Will they give up? Or will they fight along the way just to find her?  
Team Mr. PCM just bought over a million donuts to try to capture Jake when Team Blanket comes back. Will it work? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!**_

"Huh, that looked like Bella and all of her friends.. Oh look baseball!"

**Will Team Blanket find Meech? WILL the donuts capture Jake? WILL CHARLIE REALIZE IT IS IN FACT BELLA AND ALL OF HER FRIENDS? Ha, I'm having to much fun with all of this. :) That's probably why I updated soo soon. :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys, this isn't an update. So I'll allow you to kill me for letting you think it was. But I'm just going to say that I wont be able to update for awhile because I have to finish Christmas shopping, then I gotta wrap my presents. Then after Christmas I gotta find stuff to pack because I'm leaving for Florida for a week. So I wont be able to update soon, and I feel horrible about that.**

**But however, I promise when I do update, it'll be long chapters! And I mean LOOOOOONG! :) **

**So Happy Holidays to everyone and once again so sorry I can't update!**

**MJ**


	25. Chapter 25

**DISCLAIMER-- YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN! **

**Good 'ol ABBA! Ha, anywho, Pepay is back here with me writing the chapter! And I'm back from Florida, and missing the warm weather. Thought you might want to know. And like I promised, long chapter! Or at least, I'm going to try to make it long, we'll see how it plays out! (but it WILL be long! Somehow...) **

**Thanks once again to FlamingMusikStar89 for some more hilarious questions, and calling us a comedy genious! You rule!**

Bella: OMF'nG! Brillient! Oh! can I join your side in the war?! I LOVE bloody sports! Muhahahahahahaha! Um, is that weird?

Jasper: Awh! See they really do love you! At least you have a family that LOVES you. ;) I'll give you a hug whenever you want! Just come to California!

Emmet: I'm just awesome awsome like that ;). Hmm, I'm bored. Do you have any suggestions what you can do when you are bored?

Alice: Thanks! I haven't been shopping in like a day. Im in need of shopping!

Edward: Erm, not it's not suppose to be a threat, it's suppose to be a clue that KOOL-AID IS A SPY! Sheesh, for someone who is 110 years old you sure are slow. . .

Carlisle: Damnit! I need to find someone else!  
-Runs to the phone book-

Esme: Yeah, it taste like thicker lemonade! It's delicous!

Bella's answer-Sure you can! Although Edward is the captain, so you would have to ask him... but if I were captain I would totally say yes! and I don't think it's weird you love bloody sports.

Jasper's answer- Okay! Sounds good to me!

"Jasper! It's time for your hourly hug from us!"

"Okay coming Emmett!"

Emmett's answer- Start a war! That's what I did!

Alice's answer- IN A DAY?!?! I'M TAKING YOU AS SOON AS THIS STUPID WAR IS OVER!

Edward's answer- I'm not slow! -a turtle passes him while running-

Carlisle's answer- I kinda forgot what we are talking about...oh yeah! My gayness. Ha! I'm smart!

Esme's answer- It does! Wow, this is really good stuff.

EmPOV

"Brilliant plan Pepay! Let's get started gang!"

EPOV

"Well for some reason i think this is trap, thinking Meech is in Florida. I have an idea that we should head to Seattle. It's closer to home. I don't think she would travel this far alone."

"Wow Edward, that's good thinking! To Seattle!"

Meech'sPOV

"Tower of Terror! This is so much fun! Huh, I wanna go to Mexico now..."

EmPOV

"Alice, can you see anything? Is our evil plan working?"

"Yes, it is! They are headed back right now! And, what's this? Meech is headed off to Mexico!"

"Wait! I have another idea!"

"Tell us Pepay!"

-Pepay tells them her second brilliant idea.-

"WOW! I'm glad I told you to be on our side!"

"Why thank you Emmett!"

EPOV

-In Kansas-

"Hey there! Whats this?" exclaimed Edward

"Why it looks like a map!" pronounced Bella

"Those idiots must have dropped it." Jake hissed

"Well then we might as well follow it." Rachel barked

EmPOV

"HAHAHA! Those losers are following the map!" Alice shouted

"I wonder if they will figure out it is a blanket?" MJ questioned

"By the way what was even on that blanket since they think it is a map?" Rose asked

Pepay has a very distinct look on her face when she pronounces that it a map of Candyland.

"You mean the board game?" Jasper said

"Yes, a board game on a blanket, isn't that about the coolest think you have heard of?" Pepay said excitedly.** (A/N I really do have a blanket with Candyland on it. It came with pieces too! Pepay gave it to me for Christmas! It's pretty awesome. Anywho, back to the story.)**

EPOV

"According to this card it says to go up to the color red." exclaimed Edward.

"Mine said to go to the Candy Princess." Bella said.

"Off to the Candy Princess then!"

"But Edward we do not know were that is at."

"It is in Maine duh! Don't you know what candy is made of? Everything Maine has to offer!"

"Okay all mighty smart one!" Rachel shouted!

APOV

-Has vision-

"Yay! It's working, still! We are all so brilliant!"

"We?" Pepay asked while glaring at Alice.

"I mean, Pepay is so brilliant!" Alice corrected.

"Thank you." Pepay smiled widely.

"MJ, is that a tattoo on the inside of your wrist?" Jasper questioned.

"Uhhhh.... maybe?"

"MJ! WHEN DID YOU GET A TATTOO!" Emmett yelled.

"Today...." **(A/N -again- uh I really did get a tattoo on the inside of my wrist, but it washed off :()**

"THAT'S SO COOL! I WANT ONE!" Emmett exclaimed!

"That's so not cool, tattoo's are weird." Jasper said.

"LIER! Jasper you have a tattoo on your chest!" Pepay shouted.

"Wait, how did you know?" Jasper asked kinda freaked out.

Pepay just put a very distinct smile on her face.

Jasper backs away slowly.

EPOV

"Finally! We are in Maine!"

"Whoa, is that Candy Mountain?" Rachel examined.

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT! THE TASTE OF HER CHERRY CHAPTSTICK!" Bella shouted.

Some old lady walks out of the mountain.

"What did you just say young lady?" The old mountain lady asked.

"I KISSED A GIRL JUST TO TRY IT! HOPE MY BOYFRIEND DON'T MIND IT!" Bella yelled even louder.

"Say that one more time!" The old lady exclaimed.

"YOU! CHANGE YOUR MIND! LIKE A GIRL CHANGES CLOTHES!" Bella went all sneaky, and switched songs on the old mountain lady.

"What? That doesn't even make since!" The old lady said.

"YOUR SO GAY AND YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BOYS!"

"What do you mean? I do like boys! I'm married! See!?" Old lady brings out her husband. He is a troll.

"WHOA! YOUR HOT THEN YOUR COLD! YOUR YES AND YOUR NO! YOUR IN THEN YOUR OUT YOUR UP AND YOUR DOWN!" Bella kept on singing.

"Grrr humph." The troll said.

"Buh hum bug!" The old lady yelled. "Wait, why are you here?"

"Because my card said so! Your the Candy Princess, what do we do know?" Bella asked.

"Draw another card!" The old lady said wisely.

Bella draws another card.

"It says to go to Peppermint Forest, wise woman, where is that?" Jake asked.

"It is down south."

-Heads off down south-

"Bella, those songs you sang are GORGEOUS!" Edward said in a gay-ish tone.

"Oh crap, Edward your becoming Carlisle!" Bella shouted.

"Psh no, I'm not smarticle like him!" Edward retorted

"No! I mean your becoming bi!" Jake yelled.

"...NO!" Edward screams and runs in circles like a little girl

EMPOV

"Alice, Have they found the donuts?" Emmett was excited

"Well they found an old lady that is married to a troll. They think that she is the candy princess, and she said to head south."

"Their is only one problem with that old lady person. She is leading them to Meech." MJ exclaimed

"Pepay what is wrong with you. We are trying to get them to NOT find Meech and so far they haven't found any on the traps we have been sending out! What is wrong with you? HUH!?" Screamed Rosalie.

Pepays anwsers "Patience is key young crickets."

"She's right, we must wait." Alice said. "This will work."

Meech'sPOV

"Hey check that guy out. He's H-O-T HOT!"

"It's only because we are in Mexico."

"The name's Charolette. Meech, Charolette."

"The name's Brandon. Brandon O' Brandon."

"Are you Irish?"

"No, I'm Mexican. That's why were in Mexico!"

"Did you know Brandon means Beautiful in Dutch?"

"Did you know Dutch is the language of love?"

"No I did not."

"Well now you do. To bad this is all a fantasy in your head!

-Meech wakes up from a dream!-

"Whoa! Not fair!"

-Commercial pops on in a nearby village-

"Is Pepay actually brilliant? Is Meech actually going to find a H.O.T HOT guy named Brandon O' Brandon? Will Edward eventually find out that Meech was, in fact, in Florida? STAY TUNED!"

-TV turns off.-

**HA! HAHA! HA! Why am I laughing? I have no clue. Oh well! Anywho, I hope you enjoy, and like I said in a chapter earlier on, I'm having too much fun with this war. :)**

**I, Pepay, agree's MJ is having way to much fun with this war. I wanted ya'll to know that (:**

**M.J. & P.e.p.a.y.(:**


	26. ITS THE END!

**DISCLAMIER!- IT JUST TAKES SOME TIME! LITTLE GIRL YOUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RIDE EVERYTHING EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE, EVERYTHING EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT. :)**

**Hiya! Pepay and MJ here!! WOO! Sorry for the long wait, we both got UBER busy being in Florida, and Mississippi, and Oklahoma!! :)**

MJ- I finally thought of a question for you! Do you like Fall Out Boy (Pete Wentz. . .So hott!), Paramore, Tokio Hotel (Tom Kaulitz. . .SO ZEXY!), Metro Station, and Hey Monday (These are bands just to let you kno!) or any of those?  
Bella- Meh, im 2 lazy 2 walk 2 ft. and move my mouth to say 5 words. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jasper- Why do people think your emo? I don't think so! I think ur bright as a butterfly (sorry if you're offened, didn't mean to make u sound gay)

Emmett- Yea, kno wut i mite just do that! Lollipop store here I come! I use the ends of lollipops to poke people woth just to let you kno. . .very effective. . . you should try it with your team!

Alice- I know in a day! Im dieing, nut the last time i went to the mall i got these awesome neon green skinny jeans from Hot Topic (my fav. store!)!

Edward- Can I be referie for the war!?

Carlisle- Yeah. . .OMG DON'T WANT TO C MALL COP!?!?

Esme-Yeah I get high of it!

Jacob- Yeah. . .I dont like you that much. but anyway r u still in love w/ Bella?

MJ- Fall Out Boy equals awesome. Paramore is totally cool. Never listened to Tokio Hotel. Metro Station freaking sweet and haven't even heard of Hey Monday.

Bella- Well fine then!

Jasper- People think I'm emo? WHAT? SINCE WHEN? I'M NOT A BUTTERFLY EITHER!!!!! -runs away terrified.-

Emmett- LOLLIPOPS!??! I love lollipops!

Alice- Neon green skinny jeans? TOTALLY AWESOME! I must find some!

Edward- No! Well, only if you wear a dress....

Carlisle- OMG YES!!! It looks HILARIOUS!

Esme- Oh yeah..

Jacob- NO! My love is for Rachel only. :D

EmPOV

"Magical 21 flavors of Dr. Pepper...."

"I thought it was 23?" MJ said.

"23..."

"You have a comfortable butt..." Alice said to Jasper.

"Why thank you?"

"Can I pull this wire out of the wall?" Rose asked Pepay.

"NO!"

"Why will a bomb go off?" Rose questioned playing with the wire.

"YES!"

"NO! I moved it! I'm so sorry! Go back go back!!"

"Go back where?" Emmett asked.

"YOUR FACE!" Everyone shouted.

"I'm so confused!" Emmett crawled in a hole.

"We should start a cheer team!" Alice exlaimed!

"And we should only perform when there's a tornado!" Pepay screamed.

"Can we wear socks on our hands? And hats on our butts?" MJ asked.

"And growl like a kitten?!" Emmett jumped up and down with joy.

"YEAH!" Alice said.

"I'm in!" Everyone exclaimed.

"What are we going to cheer for?" MJ questioned.

"Anything but clowns, because Pink is going to burn them down, down DOWN!" Pepay said matter-o-factly.

"SNAILS!" Emmett yelled. **(A/N so while typing this, Pepay randomly said "I think someone should yell snails, so I litterally yelled snails really loudly. Then I realized she meant in the story..... end A/N)**

"YUMMY!" Jasper said like a hobo.

"We are not in France! We do NOT eat snails! Do you want to start this war EVERYWHERE?" Emmett shouted!

"Wait, the war is still going on?" Rose asked.

"Let's call a conferance!" Pepay howled.

"Arang rang rang ahhwng shwang stoplly shexy." Jasper said in Dutch.

"What does that mean?" Alice asked.

"Well," Pepay started. "It means, la vida sería mucho más interesante si caca estaba vivo ... pensar en ello....."

"HUH?" Everyone asked.

"She said!..." MJ started. "Life would be so much more intersting if poop was alive... think about it..."

"Ooh." Everyone said.

"So we should throw a dance party. Invite Eddie's team over, and dance. We shall have fun." Alice said.

"OKAY!" Emmett said.

* * *

**(Blame Pepay for randomly singing Spanish songs at the moment!)**

EPOV

"I think that we should throw a dance partay

I think that we should... get a groove on

I think that we should get a pretty little hat to go along with our new names

to sound more ganster...."

"Edward what the hell are you singing?" Bella asked.

"I THINK THAT WE SHOULD THROW A DANCE PARTAY

I THINK THAT WE SHOULD.. GET A GROOVE ON

I THINK THAT-"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!" Jacob and Rachel exlaimed very loudly.

"We should buy sombraro's! And wrap them in blankets!!! And rugs!" They heard someone yell in the far distance, say like, Forks.

"Was that Pepay?" Edward asked very confused.

"I think it was." Rachel and Jacob said together.

"Why is she yelling that so loudly?" Bella asked.

"I have another one!" Edward profounded.

"Another what?" Bella asked.

"I'm reading Pepay's mind, she's about to exclaim something very important that will help us in the war."

"When you go tanning in a booth, and get burned, would it still be considered a sun burn?" They heard Pepay's distant voice. It was in a country accent.

"How many pounds of potatoes do McDonalds go through in a year?"

"Why are semi trucks called semi's?"

"How many mints does Sonic give out each month?"

"Who came up with the english language?"

"IF COWS HAVE THREE STOMACHS, WHY DO THEY ONLY EAT GRASS?"

"Why is her voice getting louder?" Jacob and Rachel asked at the same time (once again.)

"'Cause she's yelling louder?!" Edward asked/said.

"WHY DO WE HAVE RANDOM HOLES IN OUR FACES?"

"WHY UMMM WHATS ANOTHER ONE?"

''WHY IS JASPER'S BUTT SO COMFY TO ALICE?"

"WHEN THEY WERE NAMING THE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, DID THEY JUST GET LAZY WHEN NAMING THE 'ORANGE'?"

"WHO DETERMINED WHAT WAS A BAD WORD, AND WHAT WAS A GOOD WORD?"

"WHY IS IT RARE TO FIND A BLONDE WITH BLUE EYES?"

"WHY-"

-static noise-

**_WE'RE SORRY. BUT IN THIS STORY PEPAY ENDED UP ASKING TOO MANY UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS, AND CRASHED MJ'S COMPUTER. TO SUM UP WHAT HAPPENS, ALL THE CHARACTERS HAd A DANCE PARTAY, ENDed THE WAR, AND went BACK TO FORKS TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. EDWARD AND BELLA ARE LIVING TOGETHER, WITH A PET SQUIRRELL. EMMETT AND ROSALIE ARE LIVING TOGETHER WITH THEIR TWO PETS PEPAY (CAT) AND MJ (CAT 2). THEY ARE ENJOYING SHOPPING TRIPS FOR MINI SKIRTS AND SHARPIES. ALSO EMMETT HAS BEEN GETTING BAD CASES OF BUTT ACHES._**

**_ALICE AND JASPER ARE DOING GREAT. ALICE IS STILL PAYING THE RENT BILLS ON JASPER (SINCE SHE GOT HIM OFF THE INTERNET) AND THEY ARE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER._**

**_CARLISLE AND ESME ARE DOING GREAT. NO ONE ELSE HAS FOUND OUT ABOUT CARLISLE'S LITTLE SECRET, BUT ESME'S ADDICTION TO WINDEX HAS GONE OVERBOARD AND SHE IS NOW WHAT YOU WOULD CONSIDER A 'DRUGGIE.'_**

**_RACHEL AND JAKE ARE ALSO DOING WELL, LISTENING TO ALL OF THEIR MUSIC._**

**_CHARLIE IS STILL CHARLIE._**

**_MEECH ON THE OTHERHAND.... NO ONE FOUND HER IN MEXICO. SHE NEVER FOUND HER DREAM GUY. BUT SHE DID FIND A KOALA BEAR, WHO ENDED UP BEING MR. PCM IN DISGUISE. ONCE HE FOUND OUT IT WAS MEECH, HE RAN BACK TO EMMETT'S CLOSET TO HIDE FOREVER._**

**_THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT!_**

**_-static noise...-_**

**So yeah, that's the end of our story. i know it came out of nowhere, but we promise (pepay and mj) that we will be writing another story together, and it'll AWESOME. when it'll actually come out? no clue, but as of for now, we are going to climb in a dark hole and blow some bubbles. (and maybe eat them too.) :)**

**PEACE OUT!**

**M.J. & P.E.P.A.Y.**


End file.
